3 Inspired

As the NICU has become my home away from home, the nurses have become some of my new best friends.  We talk about food, clothes, movies, and of course, the girls.  In their own way, they offer me advice, comfort, and a warm smile that helps me make it through the day.  They tell me stories of other babies that once occupied those beige walls with mint green nursery borders and how one day I will barely remember this experience because our girls will be healthy and strong. Forgetting this journey seems impossible to me now but I can see how the days can easily blur themselves into one long memory that parents don't want to replay in their minds.  But, for me, I don't want to forget this experience.  As painful as it may be; remembering the bad makes me appreciate the good.  On Sunday, Raleigh and I started looking through some of the first pictures that we took of the girls.  They were so small and had so many tubes inside of them.  Looking back made us realize how great is our God.  Today, our girls have grown and have both reached three pounds!!!  What a miracle!  They each got to wear clothes for the first time last week.  I was shocked to see them with clothes on their backs.  Of course, they are still huge on them but it is a step in the right direction.

Adeline lookin' like summertime in her yellow onesie

 

Maralee is pretty in pink :)

 

God continues to amaze me with his timing.  Last week was a time of healing and restoration of faith for me.  Each day, I continued to accept his peace and for the first time in a long time I felt light.  My burdens had been lifted to a shoulder much stronger than mine.  I was actually able to enjoy my hospital visits and not be anxious while I was away.  Raleigh was in a wedding this past Saturday for a dear childhood friend and the girls were doing so well that I decided to go with him.  I will admit that I was still a teeny tiny bit nervous to be away from the girls but the fact that I was able to leave town for the night shows how much I trusted the Lord.  Through the weekend, we ran into people that have been following our blog and it was so encouraging to us to receive their kind words.  When arriving back in Montgomery, our first stop was to the NICU and we were welcomed by these faces:

Maralee at six weeks

 

Adeline at six weeks

 

Absence sure does make the heart grow fonder!  Every day, the girls continue to grow and amaze me with their personalities.  Adeline has started to be so alert and she is actually enjoying her pacifier.  Maralee loves to be in K-care.  Raleigh and I have started to read books to them at night and it is so cute to see their eyes move at the sound of our voices. 

Even though the girls have made such progress, we still have a long way to go.  Yesterday, Maralee received another ugly infection. Basically, she got a hospital bacteria in her blood stream.  She is receiving antibiotics and the doctor assured me that it is treatable but we hate to see this setback.  This is round 3 but I must say that so far I am taking it much better than I did the first two times.  I am trying very hard to put my trust in God and to let him handle this infection.  Somebody gave me this verse and it fits perfectly: "But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God."  My times are in your hands" (Psalm 31:14-15).

This whole journey thus far has been about me trusting God with my children and Him refining my faith.  Mathew 10:8 states, "Freely you have received, freely give."  God has given us so much of His love and mercy and The Uncontainable Truth is my meek attempt at sharing His grace with all of you.  I want every person reading this blog to know how much God loves you.  He loves YOU.  He desires to have you as part of his kingdom.  Once you have accepted that Christ is your ultimate Savior; He desperately longs to have a deep relationship with you. 

Friends, the coolest thing about blogs and testimonies is that they inspire others.  I started this because someone inspired me.  If our story has inspired you, what are you going to do about it?  God has a great plan for your life and He is so ready for you to let Him show it to you.  The question is, will you let him?

...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act. - Proverbs 24:12

The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers to his harvest field - Matthew 9:37

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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3 Smitten

Almost ten years ago, my sweet husband began to knock me off my feet.  We started dating my senior year of high school and the whole year we wondered if we would be able to continue dating when I went off to college and he stayed in Dothan to start his final year of high school.  That year, he truly did everything he could to convince me that it was possible for us to continue dating in a long distance relationship.  One night, about this time of the year, he surprised me with a very romantic date.  He picked me up in his green Explorer and told me that he had a surprise for me.  I believe I had to cover my eyes with a bandanna as he drove so I wouldn't know where we were going in our very familiar town.  As we zipped and turned around the corners, I had no idea what he had up his sleeve or where we were going.  Finally, I was able to remove the bandanna from my eyes and to my confusion we were at the local soccer complex.  I looked at Raleigh Price with a bewildered eye because surely he didn't expect me to play soccer in my sundress?!?  He gave me a smile and told me that tonight we would not be playing soccer but we would need to go out on the field for me to get my surprise.  Hand in hand, we walked to the center of the field and there before me he had laid out a blanket, c.d. player, food, and a box.  As we sat down on the blanket, he told me to open up the box for my first surprise.  Anxiously, I unwrapped the box and inside I found a star-gazing kit.  After opening up the kit, we laid on our backs and tried to figure out which constellations we were looking at.  After gazing for a bit, Raleigh told me to look for one particular star and after finding it, he looked at me and told me that was my star.  He had bought a star just for me!  I was shocked and in love all at the same time!!!!

The night did not end with that surprise.  After giving him a kiss and a hug, he turned on the c.d. player and asked me to dance.  I was a bit nervous because cars were driving by heading to the late-night baseball games but I took his hand anyways and we danced to the song, "Dancing in the Moonlight."  It was very "A Walk to Remember" but I didn't care....he had me smitten by the end of the evening.  Afterwards, I called my best friend and told her all about our romantic evening.  For days, my heart was so full I really felt like I was floating.

On Saturday, I got that same feeling all over again looking down at my sweet baby girls.  It is a feeling that is indescribable yet so gratifying to know that these little people were created from the love shared by their parents.  Raleigh and I both agreed that the kisses we got to plant on their foreheads were by far the best kiss of the day! :)

I knew from the moment I started dating Raleigh that he was a guy that I could have in my life for a very long time.  We always knew each other through playing soccer and mutual friends, but we didn't really hang out until one Friday night the beginning of my senior year.  From that moment on, our personalities just clicked and he became one of my best friends.  We have gotten to share so much of our lives with each other already and I am so thankful that we are sharing this experience together. A week before the babies were born, my Esther's Women bible study met at our house and we each received a gift and a scripture verse.  My gift was a deer antler and the verse that accompanied it was Psalm 91:1-2, "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and fortress, my God in whom I trust."  

When we started discussing the gift and the scripture, I shared that the antlers were a visual image to me of control.  As I have mentioned before, I am very Type A and I like to plan and have control of my days.  Since I have stopped working, I have really had to have a personality of submittance to my husband and let him have more control over our family life, finances, etc.  At first, I struggled with that loss of control because I felt like my days weren't as worthwhile as they used to be even though I was staying very busy and disciplined while at home.  It was not a coincidence that the verse that correlated with the antlers was about having a shelter (aka a "home") and trusting in the Lord.  As a constant student, I once again learned that evening that I need to put my home and our family in the hands of our Most High.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."  We have gone back to that verse many times over the past three years but it certainly rings true during this time of affliction.  I had to patiently wait seven years to accept Raleigh as my husband and now the Lord is teaching me patience as our girls grow each day.

Friends, thank you so much for your prayers and for sharing with us in our joys and sorrows.  Please continue to keep our family in your prayers.  The girls have been doing so well the past couple of days and today we started to hit a dip on this roller coaster.  To our amazement, both girls are breathing completely on their own so that is a huge accomplishment.  Now, our giants to conquer are feeding and infections.  Maralee might have a new infection so they started her on a new medicine.  Since she is still having to take another medication for her yeast infection, she has to have two different I.V.'s in her body.  Because of her being premature, her little veins can only handle so much and the nurses are having to constantly re-stick her so the I.V's can function right.  Also, today we found out that both girls have stopped taking breast milk because their little tummies weren't digesting it properly.  I had to give them a fresh sample of my milk so they can culture it for bacteria.  If bacteria shows up, they will have to take formula.  This was hard for me to hear because we are firm believers in the power of mamma's milk and it made me feel like I was giving them sour milk.  In the end, what matters most is that they get what they need to start packing on the pounds but I was just hoping it would be breast milk.

Maralee showing off her baby blues

Adeline getting some tummy time

This is quite a journey but Christ is quite the Savior.  I am so thankful for his love and for him giving me a family to love.  I pray that each of you take time out of your day to soak up his love for you.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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5 Trust and Thanksgiving

The weather is warm, school is coming to a close, and the jasmine is blooming through our neighborhoods. This is the time of the year that we all look forward to...summer. Time for vacations, time to relax, and time for us to rejuvenate our souls. Typically, our summers are filled with weekend trips to the beach where we lay out all day and enjoy the delicious seafood by night. We ride in the boat with the wind whipping through our hair and we soak up the glorious sunshine rays as the day goes by. Summertime is blissful time and I anxiously wait for this warm weather to come every single year.

This summer, things are a little different. Instead of sunshine, our little girls are basking under jaundice lights so their skin won't turn yellow. Rather than riding on a boat, the most wind I get in my hair has been from my hands nervously running through my curls. I get lucky if I take the time to smell the jasmine on my rather short walk around the block. This summer is different, that is for sure.

But, for some reason, I am starting to thank God for this summer. I am starting to thank Him for this experience and I have begun to sacrifice my warm lazy days for relentless prayer to my Savior. This summer I am not going on vacation but I am going on a spiritual journey where my destination is to grow my faith and trust in God Almighty.

Yesterday, that faith and trust was severely tested. Our dear Adeline took a turn for the worst as her little body became susceptible to an infection in her blood. The doctor told us that she got really bad really fast but they were able to treat her with antibiotics. Raleigh had told me of her condition at lunch as we shared fried chicken with our moms and grandparents. Instead of enjoying this southern favorite, my stomach could hardly handle looking at my plate. I put on a "happy face" as I warned our families of the latest news and told them that everything was going to be alright and they could still see the girls. After ringing the bell to enter the NICU, the nurse that greeted us told me that I could only have one guest because of her "condition." As mom and I scrubbed in, my gut started to get nervous. Walking over to her little incubator, I was not prepared for what I saw. Her skin was an awful sickly pale color and her neck had swollen up to three times of its normal size. She looked lifeless and I could barely see her little breaths that were being provided to her from the ventilator. All of a sudden, I couldn't take it anymore. As I burst into tears, the sweet nurses started to comfort me. It was just too much for me to handle.

I thought, haven't we been through enough? First Maralee and now Adeline? Then, my head realized what my heart had already figured out. Tuesday night, I was reading the lesson from my new devotional, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young. The lesson began with this line..."Thank ME for your problems." It then states, "Ask Me to show you My way to handle the situation." As I stared down at that page Tuesday night I really had trouble digesting the fact that I was supposed to be thankful for this problem. I am thankful for the lessons that are being learned but I have struggled with being thankful to see my girls going through so much suffering.

That night, as I cried tears on Raleigh's shoulder, I began to realize that being thankful for our problems doesn't have to mean being thankful to see them hurting. Being thankful means being thankful that God is in control of my problem, our situation...not me. I can't carry this burden...it is totally weighing me down. Everything seems so small and insignificant to me right now compared to the battle we are fighting. And, as a new mom, I have started to carry the weight of their world on my shoulders. I have not totally trusted God...I have fear and I am scared. I want his peace but I know I don't have it right now. I know this because I have not totally sacrificed this burden to Him. God's peace is waiting for me, I have to just give up all control and totally give Him my burdens.

Last night, I picked up a book I read in college called Strong Women, Soft Hearts. As I opened the book, I landed on chapter 6 entitled, Trust: The Art of Falling Backward. I thought...hmm..okay...I'm listening. The chapter opened with this quote from C.S. Lewis, "The thing is to rely only on God. The time will come when you will regard all this misery as a small price to pay for having been brought to that dependence. Meanwhile, the trouble is that relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing has yet been done."

That quote resonated to the deepest of my being last night after having such a difficult day. I began to let the words sink in and I began to understand that this too relates to being thankful for my problems. Trust and Thanksgiving are two words that are like peanut butter and jelly when it comes to our faith in Christ. Paula Rinehart goes on to say that "Trust hangs somewhere between knowing what your heart longs for and trying to dictate the shape or timing or outcome of your heart's desire." My heart is longing for the peace of God to wrap around my soul yet I still have not completely trusted Him with my desire to raise these two little girls. I want everything to be okay but I am not letting Him in to make everything okay. Throughout my life, I have prided myself on not being a quitter but right now I want to quit being in control and start trusting that God is in control of this situation.

Just moments ago, I received an update from the doctor. He gave me great news on both Adeline and Maralee! He said that Adeline's swelling had gone down tremendously and all of her reports came back looking good. Maralee is digesting her breast milk and is coming close to being off the ventilator. Friends, I am THANKFUL!!!! Praise God that He is in control and listens to our problems! I am still on the road to complete trust yet I know that my heart is getting closer to allowing His peace to wash through my soul.

Thank you again for all of your prayers. I have complete confidence that they are being heard. I know that there are many others that are going through tough stuff right now so I thank you for thinking of us.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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6 It Wasn't Supposed to be This Way

Last Thursday began pretty similar to any other day.  My parents were in town for business so my mom and I spent the day together.  We ate a tasty lunch at Jason's Deli and went antique shopping that afternoon.  I scored two great bookshelves and only paid $60 for both.  We came home and all ate salad and spaghetti at the dinner table as a family.  Little did I know that in less than 12 hours I would be in labor delivering our precious baby girls at 27 weeks.

Friday morning began in fear and uncertainty.  The doctor told us to watch my cramps over the next hour and if we had more than four then we needed to go to the hospital.  He advised me to drink fluids and take a warm bath to relax.  As I laid in the tub trying not to cry, I had no idea that would be the last time I would see my pregnant tummy sticking out from the water.  As the hour closed, I had at least seven cramps (now I know that they were contractions!) and we rushed to the hospital. Before long, I was in a hospital gown fully dilated and found out that today would be the day I would go into delivery.  I had no bags packed, no car seats hooked up, and no time to think about any of those things.  The only thing that I could think about was THIS IS TOO EARLY.  IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY.  I got scared and I was in pain. 

When the nurses wheeled me into the operating room, I was surrounded by busy activity.  Nurses, techs, and doctors were scurrying around getting me ready for delivery.  Our wonderful doctor, Matt Phillips, advised us to do a C-section because Maralee was laying across my stomach.  I quickly agreed with the decision and he took time to pray with me before we began.  To start things off, I dangled my legs over the table and received a spinal shot.  Raleigh wasn't allowed to be in the room at that point so I made the nurse hold my hand.  Quickly my legs starting twitching and soon my lower body became completely numb as they swung me around to the delivery position.  As I lay on the table, all I saw were bright lights and lots of people.  It started to feel like the Peanut Festival on opening night and I became panicked drawing in quick short breaths.  So, I closed my eyes to block out the confusion.

With my eyes closed, I did the only thing I knew I could do at this point.  PRAY.  I prayed for the doctors, I prayed for the nurses, I prayed, prayed, prayed, for the safety and health of my little girls, and I prayed for my fear of the delivery process.  By that point, I felt a familiar hand grasp mine, and I knew my husband was by my side.  He rubbed my hair, kissed my forehead, and gave me the earthly encouragement that I needed.  I kept my eyes closed throughout the whole delivery and just continued to pray the same prayer over and over:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Soon enough the procedure was over and Dr. Phillips said that I had courage.  That made me feel good because just this week I was reading about how courage helps to define your character.  I had crossed over the bridge and now officially joined the team of motherhood.  All in all, it wasn't as bad as I had feared and I thank God that He created smart people to engineer medicine drugs that take the bullet for you. :)

After that, I was wheeled into the recovery room.  My legs began to tingle as they slowly woke up from sleep and that was when we first met Dr. Millage from the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). He spoke honestly and told us that our babies were doing well but not great.  His eyes didn't quite meet ours and that made me realize that he really meant what he was saying.  As he left, he assured us that the situation could be a lot worse and that there was hope for them to feeling great.   That was really hard to digest at that moment but it gave me the confidence that I needed so I wouldn't begin to worry.

Over the next couple of days, I recovered in room 248.  The nurses took excellent care of me and I learned how to breast pump from a woman named Psyche.  They were awesome and I can not say thank you enough to the nurses at Baptist East.  THANK YOU!!!  

Quickly my days were filled with visits from family and friends.  Even though I didn't always feel great, it was really great to see everyone.  Their visits kept me smiling and upbeat and I really felt assured that our babies were doing well.  My mom was AWESOME at taking care of me and my sweet husband never left my side.  Both of our families came to our rescue over the weekend.  When they weren't at the hospital, they were cleaning, organizing, and taking care of the daily needs of our home and puppies.  We are beyond grateful for them giving so much of themselves during our desperate time of need.  Now, more than ever, I really appreciate our families and am so THANKFUL that they can get along and be apart of our team.  Mr. and Mrs. Price, Gunter, KB, Mom, Dad, & Courts.....WE LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

During my stay in the hospital; physically I was in recovery from pain and emotionally I was doing well under the circumstances. The NICU kept us informed and it was comforting to know that Adeline and Maralee were right down the hall.  On Tuesday, Dr. Phillips made his rounds and asked me if I was experiencing any post-par tum depression and I assured him that I was okay.  It really helped me to talk to my friend Katie because she and her husband were at the tail-end of their son's stay in the NICU.  Seeing them go through their experience gave us the assurance that tons of babies are delivered premature yet they grow up into healthy, strong babies just like the full-term ones. 

After Dr. Phillips left my room quoting scripture, I sat in my hospital bed absorbing our conversation.  Tuesday was my last day in the hospital, and I began to feel homesick from room 248.  I had not been outside since Friday morning and my brain started to digest the fact that the real world was right outside of those sliding glass doors.  As much as I was looking forward to sleeping in my own bed with my husband, and seeing my puppy dogs, I started to miss my little square inch room.  I started to miss the girls being right down the hall.  That day, I realized all of the things that I missed.  I missed picking out cute pajamas to wear in the hospital.  I missed packing my bags and having them on stand-by.  I missed being in the "rapid growth stage" of my final months of pregnancy.  I missed being able to wear those cute maternity clothes while eating petit fours at my baby shower that was supposed to be on Sunday.  I missed hearing my babies cry as they entered into the world.  They couldn't cry because their lungs weren't fully developed yet.  I missed taking the picture of mom looking gross yet so beautiful as she held her precious newborn for the very first time.  On Tuesday, as I waited for Raleigh to pull the truck around to the entry of the hospital, I became well aware that I was leaving the hospital without our babies. As we exited onto I-85, the tears started flowing.

That was the first time I had cried since they were delivered.  I needed to cry and it was overall a happy cry twinged with sadness.  It is just hard to absorb all of those little things.  We all "think" we know how things are going to happen but once again God showed me that it was His timing, not mine.  He knew the babies would be entering this world on April 30, 2010, before He even created me twenty-five years ago.  He is teaching me with this experience that once again I am not in control of my life.  I have given my life to Him, and now I have to trust His guidance.  As Raleigh and I talked, I began to really see how God had planned for them to born on that day.  If they had been born on Saturday, Raleigh would have missed their births because he was supposed to go on a rafting trip that weekend.  If I had continued to work, I would have had those babies on the Relay For Life track that night.  On their birthday, Raleigh got a message that the babies furniture had arrived.  My dad's business seminar just "happened" to be in Prattville on Thursday and Friday.  I didn't get freaked out when I saw our babies for the first time all wrapped in wires and tubes because my job in Birmingham required me to be around sick cancer patients every single day.

Friends, these things are not coincidence.  God is SO in control of our lives.  Wiping away my tears, I stopped comparing my pregnancy to what I missed.  I started to think about what I have been given.  Things like....

I got to touch Adeline's little bitty knee

The nurse let me change Maralee's diaper for the first time

The other night, Adeline held my finger in her delicate hands

 

Yesterday, I finally saw Maralee's face for the very first time

I love these little girls so much.  We are taking baby steps but they are steps that are in the right direction.  Thank you friends for your prayers and love.  We really need it right now.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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0 Stuck in the Mud

Blogger friends,

Right now my husband has the Rocky theme song blaring from his iPod while doing a mini-workout.  His brother has told him that 25 is going to be the age that he is going to start packing on the pounds and Raleigh is out to prove him wrong!  It is really funny watching him do his work-outs. Have any of you done the P-90X ab workout?  Well, neither has Raleigh but he likes to think he has! He has a tendency to make up different moves. Right now he is banging his fists against his chest while doing sit-ups. He says this helps tighten up the ab muscles but I just think he looks like a gorilla. ha ha.  Honestly, he says that workout is a killer....I can't really participate in that kind of stuff right now so I am going to take his word for it :)

All the while Obi is laying on our twin bed here in the office with me.  All four of his legs are in the air with his head draped against my flower pillow.  He loves that pillow, I swear.  He looks like a center-fold.  Now he is just staring at me like, "What?  You're not putting this on the internet are you?  At least get a picture of how good I look."  Lu Lu is jealous that Obi can jump on the bed and she can't.  So, she just lays at my feet with her legs crossed.  Such a lady that girl is...until she hears a bag open for food.  At that point, all is fair in love and war.  I haven't given them their nightly treat yet so soon I will have some puppies scratching at my legs giving me the pitiful face.

Today, I just wanted to go running....like really fast sprinting.  Throughout my pregnancy I have been doing yoga, walking, and bike riding but today I really had the need for speed.  Mondays are hard days for everyone but this Monday hit me hard.  I had some bad dreams last night (part of being pregnant is the crazy dreams!) and didn't sleep very well so this morning I was rather sluggish and slow moving.  To top off my wonderful Monday morning I had to deal with a not-so-nice person at the fabric store.  Customer service seems to be a thing of the past these days.  Oh, well. 

Anyways, I wanted to write today just because.  I don't really have any ideas in particular that are coming to me but I really do have a desire to type.  Do y'all ever just feel stuck in the mud?  That is how I am feeling right now.  It is like I want to go on this journey but I don't even know where to start.  I need some guidance, some direction, some focus.  God, please help me sort all of this out. 

I need to stop throwing myself a pity party and just start focusing on taking baby steps to reach my goal. We get where we are going one step at a time and I just need to remember that.  God has shown me a path but right now I am just stumbling on some roots of insecurity.  I need to look up and stop looking down.  Tomorrow is a fresh day so that means a fresh start on my journey. 

Words on encouragement always make me feel better.  Even if I have to give myself a pep talk it helps me to stay positive.  Thanks for letting me get that out....I really do feel much better!

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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2 Stepping Stones

Y'all, my puppy dogs can't get enough of me this morning. I swear, they are too cute when they wake up. When Obi starts to wake up, he lifts one leg into the air to stretch it out. It is really funny looking. Little Miss Lu Lu rolls on her back and she uses her front two paws to rub at her face as if she is rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Both love a good belly rub as well to get the day going.

This morning, Lu Lu was ready for me to get up. I know this because after the alarm went off, she started to lick my face. I know some of you out there will think that is gross and but I really don't mind it because she is so little. After she gets up and I am still laying in bed because I'm not ready to get up Obi starts to nudge her with his head. Even though Obi's head is bigger than Lu Lu's whole body he still manages to be gentle with her. Once he starts nudging, she starts to get snappy. It's like she is the big sister that is trying to get ready in the bathroom and her little brother keeps annoying her. It is pretty funny to watch.

After they are both up and going, we walk across the cold hardwood floor to the kitchen to get some food in our bellies. Obi, being the gentleman that he is, allows Lu Lu to eat her food first. If he starts to get close before she is finished, she has no problem telling him to back off. But, most mornings, they do just fine.

Lu Lu came to us my senior year of college for Christmas. She was so tiny and fluffy and she just loves to be next to me. Right now, she is sitting in my lap not bothering me a bit. You see, Lu Lu has been my little companion these last couple of years. After college, I moved two hours north to Birmingham, which is one of the largest cities in Alabama. Growing up, my mom used to always talk about how much she loved Birmingham and I think that is why I always wanted to live there. To us little city girls, this was the BIG city. When traveling north to Birmingham, the closer you get to the city the more the landscape changes. Being from peanut country, all of our land is really flat. But, Birmingham is known as Red Mountain and it has all of these rolling hills that twist and turn with such beautiful scenery down below. Upon moving there, I was so excited because there were tons of places to shop, eat and new places to explore.

At first glance, Birmingham, like all major cities can seem confusing but after time it really doesn't seem that big. My new motto since living there is "You can't find where you are going until you get lost!" The first six months of my stay in Birmingham, I lived in an adequate sized one bedroom apartment. To me, it was my first time living on my own and I loved the space. It was just the right size and for the first time in my life I had a place all to myself (with Lu Lu, of course). I didn't have to split duties with roommates or get frustrated when the dishes were left in the sink. It was up to me to keep the place the way I wanted it to be.

Of course, living by myself in a big new city was part of my parents letting go. My mom was just a phone call away but she was always concerned for my safety. My dad installed a security system in my apartment and one time in the middle of the night it went off. I have never been more scared in my entire life. I held on to Lu Lu so tight I thought I was going to suffocate her. I kept my bedroom lights off and frantically pushed the speed dial button to call my dad. It took him three times to pick up the phone because it was so late. When I heard his voice, I screamed in a soft whisper, "The alarm is going off, what do I do??????" Thank goodness for my dad. He calmed me down and instructed me that I had to get out of bed and walk to my bedroom door to look at the alarm to see if anything had tripped it. I crept out of bed, grabbed the miniature Atlanta Braves red baseball bat from my closet and quietly tip-toed to my door. When I got to the alarm, it wasn't saying that an entry had been opened. So, I dialed the code into the keypad and still nothing was showing up. Dad, being the thinker that he was asked me if Lu Lu was growling. I told him she wasn't so he instructed me to open the bedroom door and turn on all of the lights in the apartment. As I flipped on all of my light switches, everything looked just the way I had left it before bed. Thankfully, it turned out to just be the alarm battery but needless to say I didn't get much sleep that night.

Many of us want to explore new places and take these opportunities while we are young and fresh out of college. We want to have these experiences so we feel more worldly and even more adventurous. It takes courage to live by yourself or in a new city where you have to start from scratch. My advice would be that if you are going to do it, really engage yourself in your new environment. Get lost, get scared, and get a chance to make your own decisions. I am so thankful for that one short year of being completely by myself because it allowed me to have my personal time to develop as an individual. During that year, I was so ready to get married but at the same time I was also preparing myself for marriage. Life is just one big stepping stone and we aren't ready to take the next step until we have a solid footing underneath us.

I do know one thing is for sure: God lays out each step for me to take when it is time. He will be my comforter in the middle of the night when I am scared-stiff and He will be my guide before I take the next step. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-7)

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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2 Coincidence? I think not.

How great is our God? He is the name above all names, worthy of our praise. Our hearts will sing, "How GREAT is our GOD!!!"

This past week has been pretty amazing. So many little things have happened that just aren't coincidence. First, on Monday I was really struggling with the blog being "out there." Honestly, I was so fearful and nervous about what other people would think of me. Then I got an e-mail and one section really just screamed, "I am talking to you Christen Price!" It read, "Why am I so worried about what other people think of me and not about what God thinks of me?" That statement stopped every other thing I was doing that morning and made me totally realize how self-conscious I really am. How many of us are so concerned about what other people think of us that we don't truly live our lives the way that God intended for us to lead them? I am tired of worrying about whether or not I am liked or if someone is my friend. I am not living my life for the approval of others. It is time for me to stop caring so much about what other people think of me and to live honestly, truthfully, and so full of God's love that I am not scared to share His word with anyone.

The second thing that happened this week is I got a phone call from one of my preachers at church. Several weeks ago, I was really struggling with what I should do with my life and what outlet I should focus on for sharing God's word. I had purchased a c.d. from a study I wasn't able to attend at our church that was about living your life's purpose. As I was listening to the study, I just kept thinking how great it would be to have a conversation with this pastor about my future. But, chicken me never ever got brave enough to initiate that type of phone call. On Wednesday night, I was putting a pound cake into the oven (with my cute new Williams-Sonoma oven mitts thanks to my thoughtful husband)and Raleigh said, "Christen, there is a woman on the phone for you." I answered the phone call and low and behold Janice Spencer was on the other line. As we began speaking she asked me to serve in a new position for my small group and from our conversation she also invited me to be on the prayer and fasting committee at church. When we ended our conversation, we decided on a day to meet for breakfast so we could discuss what ways I would like to serve the church. After I hung up the phone, I just sat there thinking how amazing the Lord is. He knew my thoughts and He answered them. His guiding hand prompted Janice to call me because He knows how much I need a mentor to guide me right now. Isn't He wonderful?

The last thing that happened this week happened about two hours ago. I have been debating about what to post tonight and three scriptures have been on my mind this week. Tonight, when we were helping out with the youth back to school party, all three of these verses were spoken. Not one, not two, but all three. Coincidence? I think not. Obviously the first one is the mission of this blog: "You are the light of the world. Let your light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." - Matthew 5:14,17. The other verse that I was wanting to share is my favorite Bible verse: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-7. The final verse that has been on my heart is when Jesus was walking on water and Peter went out to join him, "Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"" - Matthew 14:29-31. Aren't we all like Peter? We believe in Jesus but we don't totally trust him with our lives? Let's be completely honest here...we get scared. Fear grips our thoughts and when all we see is darkness we fall. But, you know what is so amazing? Jesus is there to catch us in an instant every time we fall. If we give ourselves completely up to Him, totally surrendering all, He will guide us down a path that is so much better than our craziest dreams.

The Lord has been moving in my life friends. I mean, seriously, speaking to me. He is telling me to let go of all of my fears and totally get flat on the floor and glorify His name. This blog is so much more than one person speaking about what is going on in her life. This blog is an outlet to glorify the one and only God. Amen to that!

Friends, what is the Lord speaking to you right now? What is on your heart that you need His guidance? I pray that you will seek Him and just give it up to Christ! He wants to hear your voice. Stop being scared. I promise He will move mountains in your life.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, Christen

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