2 Under Pressure

This month I realized that I put too much pressure on myself to succeed.  This revelation occurred to me last Monday as our family was driving to Dothan.  The warm haziness of the sun had just drifted beyond reach and darkness started to set in as we drove south on Highway 231.  Raleigh and I had been in a tizzy earlier that day and we were finally discussing our gripes with one another.  Lately, I have been a bit of a grinch.  My tongue has been short and I haven't really enjoyed the companionship of my husband.  Everything he had done last month just plain got on my nerves.  If he took all of the covers at bedtime I felt like he was doing it to make me feel cold.  If he drank the last gulp of water out of our shared cup, it was his fault it was empty.  When our big dog was hysterically hyper I threatened to have him stay in Dothan next time we visited because it was Raleigh's fault that he was acting this way.  Anything and everything about that boy was just getting on my nerves.

Needless to say, what conversation we had up to that point in the car had been limited.  Finally, neither one of us could take the silence any more and on that two hour drive we both apologized for the way we had been treating one another.  Raleigh said that he has been having trouble being at work instead of home with the girls.  He knew our dog needed to be exercised but he would rather spend time holding and kissing our babies instead of running.  He was having a difficult time managing all of his responsibilities and he felt like I had too high of expectations for him.  He was right about the last one.  I expect way too much from my husband.  I want him to be the perfect family man and I often ignore any signs of struggle.

Raleigh did have some blame-worthy moments this past October, but I take first place in the one instigating the problems.  It all goes back to my need to succeed.  Last month, I was stressed.  I finally realized that on our drive home.  As the cow pastures and peanut fields passed by my window, my heart began to soften.  I just started to talk, hiding my tears in the darkness of the night.  I felt so bad for the way I had been treating Raleigh.  He was such an easy target and it made me feel better to place blame on him rather than myself.  As I was talking, I realized that the pressures in my life are put there only by me.  I used to think it was my circumstances or my job.  Whenever I used to feel stressed I thought it was because I had to do what I was doing and if I could only choose how to live my life I wouldn't feel stressed.  I realized that ever since I stopped working outside the home I have still put pressure on myself to stay busy.  I think that made me feel like my days were still worthwhile; that somehow what I do now is still just as important as having a real job that gave me a pay check every two weeks.  I want my life to be filled with substantial days and not let any hour go to waste.

So, the question I had to ask myself, "Is caring for my babies wasteful?"  My answer every time is, "No, it most certainly is not."  I realized that the babies are not the root of my issue.  I think the reason I feel this way is because I still have my own goals that I want to see fulfilled.  If I don't take time to work on these goals, I will feel like my purpose in life was never accomplished.  I don't want to look back in twenty years and wish I had taken more time to devote to this ambition but at the same time I don't want to miss out on any moment with my two beautiful little miracles.  So, is now the time to accomplish these goals?

This is where my problem lies.  My girls are my number one priority besides God and my husband.  Period.  End of discussion.  When our day starts, I do everything that I have to for them.  We eat, change diapers, play, learn, grow, and sleep.  That takes up a major portion of my day.  What time I have left is juggled between friends, family, household commitments, quiet time with God, the blog, learning to sew, and my goals among other things.  Every day is different but I try so hard to keep consistency.  I think that if I stick to my planner as a guideline, I will get everything accomplished.  But, I think I push myself too hard some days.  When it looks like I'm not going to get things done, I start to feel anxious.  That is where the pressure begins.  It is this need for perfection that is driving me nuts.  I need to be satisfied to focus on quality rather than quantity.

Before the girls were born, I really felt like God was calling me to go deeper with my writing.  Our whole experience in the NICU

My quiet time is way shorter these days and my prayers have been more of thankfulness than anything else.  I have SO much to be thankful for and I feel like now is the time to act on how gracious He has been to me.  Last year was a time for seeking out my purpose and I felt the calling on my life.  Why is it so hard now to accomplish it?  Why am I second guessing it?  I think it is because I see this huge picture and I'm not taking it one step at a time.  If I have learned anything, it is to trust God and give Him all control.  I need to take some time to spend with him in genuine prayer.  My soul is yearning to scoot closer to Him so I can rest my head on His shoulder.  He needs to stroke my hair and tell me everything is going to be okay.  I need to look at Him and realize that Christ is perfection and it is our goal to live our lives like Christ but not as Christ.  I need to know that what I am doing is meaningful in His eyes and is part of His plan for my life.

So, friends, I think I need to spend some alone time with God.  I need to remember that what I am doing is very meaningful.  It is growing me into the woman that I want to become but that woman needs to stop putting so much pressure on herself.  I have to get past this need to succeed and literally take things one day at a time like I did this summer.  Getting back to the heart of the matter, I have to trust in God's perfect timing.  If this goal of mine is meant to be fulfilled in the near future, it will.  I need to remember what God has already taught me so I can continue to move forward instead of going backwards.  This month might be a little different for my blogging.  As important as it is to me, I might not be posting as much material this month as I have been.  Who knows, I might be posting a ton if I feel His gentle prompting...I guess we will see as the days unfold.  All I know is I need to spend some genuine time filling up my soul through His truth.  Thank you for allowing me to share such tender feelings; I already feel like this is a step in the right direction.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...

0 Amazing

Amazing things can happen when we open ourselves up for the world to see who we really are.  Not who others imagine us to be, but our honest, authentic selves that God created us to be.  I heard a movie star say one time that she would never receive Botox because her face tells a story and it shouldn't tell a story of her visiting the doctors office. Just as our faces age; so do our minds and bodies.  With age can come courage, wisdom, and believing in oneself to follow their heart.  Instead of us trying to mold ourselves into earlier days; we should embrace this continued beauty that shines from within.  The older I get, the more I realize that time really can just pass me by.  Life can quickly become filled with deadlines, headaches, and stress instead of laughter, joy, and inner peace.  This past year was quite a journey for me spiritually, emotionally, and physically but I am so thankful to have gone on this ride.  I have witnessed that our God is greater than evil and when I allowed myself to submit to his amazing grace; wonderful lessons were continuously learned.

The first lesson that I learned this past year was to follow my heart.  I was so unbelievably nervous to start this blog.  Last summer, I really felt prompted by God to start writing but I had no idea where to start.  I remember many conversations with Raleigh where I would exclaim how crazy it was for me to write.  For starters, what would I write about?  Secondly, who would even care????  I wondered if my friends would think I was weird or if I wrote down my thoughts others would make fun of me.  For the longest, I didn't even share this new adventure with my family because I was scared that I wouldn't get their approval putting my thoughts out on the Internet.  Nevertheless, I decided to follow His poking finger and we launched the blog one year ago today.  I immediately begged my best friend to become a "follower" so it would look like I had friends that cared about this crazy thing!!!!  Soon, I got even more brave and decided to link it to my Facebook page.  Gradually, more people began to visit the blog and I was less fearful of what others' thought about me.  Each time I wrote, the more I became addicted to writing.  It felt so good to share my thoughts without any interruptions or fear of being shot down by a Bible scholar friend.  I still wasn't sure where this blog was heading but I knew that it was quickly becoming a very important part of my life.

As the year progressed, I gradually felt a stronger push from the Lord to let go of the world that I was in and trust Him to control my life. Raleigh and I had many tearful conversations about my future as to whether or not I should continue working or stop to follow this desire to write. Round and round we went trying to make sense of our situation.  We were very unsure of the timing because if I stopped working, it wouldn't be because of kids or family; it would simply be because we felt like God was calling me to do something else.  That something else had no benefits, insurance, or pay.  All it held was blind faith and endless possibilities.  After much prayer for a sign, one Sunday we got our answer.  We sat in church listening to our preacher and we felt like he had written that message especially for us.  After that day, we knew that if we didn't follow God He would start looking elsewhere.  We bravely made a decision to tell our parents our new plans for our future.

After we shared our news to our families, we discovered that God had blessed us for trusting Him.  He answered our other desire for us to start a family!  We were overcome with joy and believed wholeheartedly that God was truly in control of our lives.  Quickly we realized that the ball was in our court and it was time for me to say goodbye to what I knew in order to take this step in a new direction.  Even though we realized that it was time to let go, I couldn't bring myself to do it.  I didn't want to let anybody that I worked with down and I had a hard time deciding when the best time would be for me to break the news.  I became like Gideon in the book of Judges and I asked God to show me a sign that He was in control.  He had already blessed us with a baby but I still need another nudge to be brave enough to quit.  God remained patient with me and totally blindsided me with a double portion of his goodness.  Late January we found out that we were having not one baby but two!  It was hard for me to contain my emotions because I knew that was a sign from God for me to trust him.

So, that is what I did.  I trusted Him.  I stopped working and began to write even more.  Soon, I realized why He wanted me to trust Him and why He had put writing on my heart. My life changed drastically on April 30th of this year when our girls were born three months premature.  Over the past three months, all I could do was cling to my faith in God to get me through my darkest hour. 


It has been an amazing experience to trust God with my life.  I feel so free.  Also, I feel His presence and that gives me more confidence to boldly speak His name to others.  I realize now that my job in this world is to be a witness of His love to others.  It is my responsibility as a follower of Christ to spread his truth and that everything that I do is for His glory.  For years, I have struggled with the word humble.  So often, it is confused with words such as meek, tiny, and small.  But, I have realized that being humble is the exact opposite of those words.  I have learned that who I am is not about me....it's about the light that shines within me.  I am so humble because the words on this screen are not my own.  I am simply a vessel to spread the message of Jesus Christ.  It is all about Him and not about me.

Friends, Christ has shown me that I can be used to glorify his name.  He has shown Raleigh and I that we are tools for His trade.  Since last September, this blog has received over 17,000 visits.  We have over 90 proclaimed followers and receive about 200 visits a day from people all across the globe.  This blog is not just an Alabama thang; it has spread to cities in every continent except Antarctica (if you know somebody that is doing scientific research up there, do you mind sharing this with them?!?).  As I said before, it is amazing what can happen when we let ourselves go to follow Christ.  There is this great quote in The Shack about the church.  Jesus says, "It's all about relationships and simply sharing life.  What we are doing right now -- just doing this -- and being open and available to others around us.  My church is all about people and life is all about relationships.  You can't build it.  It's my job and I'm actually pretty good at it."

Fellow sojourners, we want to continue to share our life with others.  We want to continue to form new friendships and deeper relationships within this community of believers.  So, we have asked God to continue to show us the direction for this blog and how it can be used to further share His name with this world.  We believe that we should offer more features on this blog than our life story.  As you can see, we now have six new tabs on the home page titled Articles, Community, Media, Ministry, Prayer Requests, and Social.  Below is an overview of what you can find inside of these tabs.

Articles

• Each month we will do a feature article called the Do-Gooder where we highlight people or businesses that are doing good things.  This idea was formed through two passages that Jesus spoke in Matthew about doing good.  The first is Matthew 7:12, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you" and the other is Matthew 12:35, "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him."  The first of these will come next week.

 Community

• This page will showcase a live discussion forum on a wide variety of topics.  We encourage you to get in there are start a fellowship with others.  Feel free to create your own topics and be active.

Media

• We will be continuing our Book Reviews, as well as expanding into Music and Movie Reviews.

Ministry

• Monthly Memory Verse
• Trusting the Truth: Testimonies from believers on how they decided to live their lives for Christ
• Free downloadable lessons that can be shared for youth, small groups, and Sunday School

Prayer Requests

• An area where you can share your prayer request with us

Social

• Chris10's Monthly Must-Haves are a fun way to show that we can love things in this world such as fashion and food but not be consumed of this world

We want to continue to let our light shine but we also want to create a community where you can let your light shine.  One thing that Raleigh heard and has always said is, "If you want to go fast go alone but if you want to go far go together."  We need help to continue to make this blog grow for the glory of God.  We need prayer warriors and believers to share their testimonies.  If you feel God telling you to act upon these requests, please e-mail me at christen.price@theuncontainabletruth.com.

In closing, we are so excited about the expansion of this blog and look forward to what lies ahead.  We hope that you continue to follow us on this journey and look forward to your companionship if you feel called to join us.  So much of God's glory has been revealed to us and we can't help but share it!

"He who forms the mountains, creates the wind, and reveals his thoughts to man, he who turns dawn to darkness, and treads the high places of the earth --the Lord God Almighty is his name" 

-Amos 4:13

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...

10 Birthday Wishes

"For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ." 

2 Corinthians 4:6

As I blew out the candles of my 26th birthday cake, I felt complete.  My family was complete, this past year was complete, and the amazing experience that we had in the NICU had finally become complete.  Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined what God had in store for me last year when I quietly whispered the words, "Use me, God."  When I began my 25th year of life, I knew that I wanted that to be a year of change.  I knew that something was missing in my life and I timidly took a leap of faith in order to find what that was. When I decided to take this leap, I knew I had to go for it and not do anything half-way.  That would be like doing a belly flop off the diving board instead of a back flip.  Yes, I had desires and dreams that wanted to be fulfilled, but I also knew that in order for me to achieve these things I would have to completely submit my life to Christ and trust that even if these birthday wishes did not come true; I would still be completely in love with my Savior.

As the year progressed, I continued to pray for the desires of my heart.  I prayed for children and I prayed for God to show me the direction He wanted to take me for my spiritual walk.  Soon, my wish for children was granted!  As my belly grew, we began to make plans for our expanding family.  We were overwhelmed with joy that God would give us not just one child, but two. We picked out colors for the nursery, had baby showers, and did research on all things twins.  Around the seven month mark, our plans changed drastically.  I woke up early one morning with painful cramps and we rushed to the hospital.  Shortly after arriving, I was rushed into the delivery room for an emergency C-section.  I was scared to death and all I could do was close my eyes and pray.  God delivered our babies at two pounds each and not a cry was heard when they entered this world.  As family and friends packed my post-par tum room, I assuredly smiled back at them saying everything would be just fine.  I was thankful that we made it through the C-section and I decided to focus on the positive instead of the negative.  That is great and wonderful, but reality ordered me to rip off my mask so I could fully realize the severity of the situation.  What I saw in front of me were two beautiful little girls desperately fighting for their lives.  They came into this world premature and we had a long road ahead of us.  As the days progressed; I kept tripping on rocks and holding on to the edge of the cliff instead of following the hand that was holding mine.  I desperately clung to what I knew to be true and safe instead of becoming fearless in my faith.  Satan proudly had his shoulders held high since he knew what a grip he had on me.  He knew my greatest fear and he did everything in his power to drag me into his murky, slimy pit of darkness.  Satan unleashed great amounts of uncertainty, guilt, and doubt on my head and in my heart in order for me to play on his team.  His offers were tempting me like Snow White with the red apple.  He kept saying, "Just take one bite, it will make you feel so much better."  So many times I wanted to eat that apple.  I wanted a break from this world and I wanted to go far, far away.  Just when I started to lick my lips and take a bite, I felt a loving hand on my shoulder telling me to stop.  When I glanced back to see whose hand was on me, I was blinded by light.  Light so bright and pure that it made me fall to my knees in thankfulness.  The light was with me and it started to fill my heart and my head with love and truth instead of the wretched mess I almost gave myself to.  Just as God saw in Genesis 1:4, I saw that the light was good, and I started to separate the light from the darkness.

 Each morning, as I prepared myself for the day ahead, I would look into my vanity mirror and asked, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" Each time, I looked into the mirror, I saw Jesus' reflection staring back at me. I began to wholeheartedly follow my fearless leader because I knew that the more I mirrored Him, the stronger my faith would become.  Earnestly seeking His truth prepared my spirit for what lied ahead of me each day.  I felt his presence throughout my day and often I confessed my fears and doubts to Him.  He assured me of his faithfulness and He kept showing me the direction that I needed to go in to stay strong through my journey.

As the days progressed, so did our faith and the girls growth.  Each day, we got to do a little more with them.  They started to breathe on their own and we were able to finally hold them in our arms.  As the weeks carried on, they began to bottle feed and grow into themselves.  They actually started to look like real babies!  We began to realize that God was using our sufferings to glorify his name.  Soon, we realized that He was granting the other desire of my heart which was to write for His kingdom.  When we started the blog a year ago, we had no idea what direction it would go in.  All we knew was that we wanted to be disciples of Christ and to share His truth with others. Through this life-changing event, we decided to meagerly become like John in the Bible.  "There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John.  He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe.  He himself was not the light.  The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.  In him was life, and that life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it" (John 1:4-9).  We began to fully rely on the power that the light has over the darkness.  We knew that Jesus had already defeated our enemy, and he had also defeated death itself.  Our love for Jesus taught us that He will watch over us in our darkest hours and carry us into the sunshine.  He promised that those that ask will receive.  He heard our cry for mercy and He carried us on the feathers of His wings.  As the girls continued to grow, we continued to give thanks to Him for the blessings he continued to show us. "From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another (John 1:16).

Without this NICU experience, I would not have learned how to let go of Satan's strongholds in order to hold on to the truth spoken by Christ.  This journey taught me that Jesus truly is the way, the truth, and the light.  Without him, I would never have made it.  Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I was able to face my darkest fears and persevere through them.  He continued to give strength to the weary and we are now so much stronger that when we started.  As the final days of our journey came upon us, it was weird seeing it end. My high school senior yearbook stated it perfectly, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end."  We were so ready for the girls to be home but a part of us didn't want to let go of the experience that we had.  It was so hard saying our goodbyes but we joyfully said hello to the new road ahead of us.  My heart is so full of joy right now and I know that He still has so much in store for us.  As I begin this new year of my life, my greatest wish of all is that I will continue to seek Him first in everything that I do.  I want Him to be the center of everything in my life - Raleigh, the girls, my future....everything.  Even though this experience was not planned by me, it was truly God's perfect timing in my life.  This experience has taught me so much about His love for me and I pray that I continue to show that love to others.  It is my wish that each of you will continue to follow us on our new journey and as we all become better disciples of Christ we will move mountains with our faith.  We won't be able to deny His presence in us and we will shout it from the roof tops to bring others closer to Him. "Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"  Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.  You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.  I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:6-8.

Below are some pictures of the best birthday I have ever had. These pictures will forever be keepsakes to me!  Blessed be the name of Jesus, for he is GOOD!

We roomed in on Tuesday night.  It was so weird to see the girls' room all packed up and ready for us when we arrived.
It was the first time that we saw our girls not hooked up to the monitors and without tubes on their faces.
It was kinda sad saying goodbye to that room after spending 83 days there!!!!

Early Wednesday morning, the night shift nurses woke us up to give me birthday doughnuts!
It was so neat that they thought of that because it is a tradition that Raleigh and I eat doughnuts on our birthday.
We got to be so close to those nurses and it was so hard giving them one last hug!!!!

After the girls had their final exam, we got to dress them up to go home!  I wasn't able to find any preemie bloomers,
so Mom bought us some monogrammed diapers. We put them on top of their real diapers
(didn't want a blow-out on those new dresses!!!!) and they were just too darn cute :)

Ms. Kirby was our discharge nurse for the day.  She was one of the nurses that had the girls' the most.
All the other nurses would joke with her about how much she loved our girls.
She wore pink scrubs just for the occasion!               
We love you Ms. Kirby!!!!!!

Ms. Casey was another nurse that had tears in her eyes as the girls left the hospital.
She helped us tremendously through Adeline's scary time and she was one of the nurses on the day they were born.  Saying goodbye to the NICU staff was by far the hardest part of the day for me.
More than once my eyes welled up in tears because
these great people made this experience a WHOLE lot easier!!!!!

Leaving the hospital and ready to go to our new home!!!!  Tears were literally steaming down my face at this point.
I couldn't believe that the day had finally arrived.  It was surreal.
Thank you Baptist East for being our home away from home!!!!

Raleigh is such a great dad.  The night before we roomed-in, he watched the car seat video one more
time to make sure he had them secured correctly :)
Riding home from the hospital, I remembered the first time I left those doors without the girls.
What a great moment to finally have them with us coming home!!!!!

Earlier that day, our parents put out our yard sign and hung pink bows on our door.
We had to have a proper homecoming!!!!!

Home at last!  I am holding Adeline and Raleigh has Maralee.  What proud parents we are!!!!!

I'm not happy, am I?  :)

Priceless.
Maralee Simms Price & Adeline Summers Price at 11 1/2 weeks.
Maralee weighs 4 lbs. 8 oz. and Adeline is 4 lbs 12 oz.

God's perfect timing!  It was the best birthday EVER!!!!

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...

3 Inspired

As the NICU has become my home away from home, the nurses have become some of my new best friends.  We talk about food, clothes, movies, and of course, the girls.  In their own way, they offer me advice, comfort, and a warm smile that helps me make it through the day.  They tell me stories of other babies that once occupied those beige walls with mint green nursery borders and how one day I will barely remember this experience because our girls will be healthy and strong. Forgetting this journey seems impossible to me now but I can see how the days can easily blur themselves into one long memory that parents don't want to replay in their minds.  But, for me, I don't want to forget this experience.  As painful as it may be; remembering the bad makes me appreciate the good.  On Sunday, Raleigh and I started looking through some of the first pictures that we took of the girls.  They were so small and had so many tubes inside of them.  Looking back made us realize how great is our God.  Today, our girls have grown and have both reached three pounds!!!  What a miracle!  They each got to wear clothes for the first time last week.  I was shocked to see them with clothes on their backs.  Of course, they are still huge on them but it is a step in the right direction.

Adeline lookin' like summertime in her yellow onesie

 

Maralee is pretty in pink :)

 

God continues to amaze me with his timing.  Last week was a time of healing and restoration of faith for me.  Each day, I continued to accept his peace and for the first time in a long time I felt light.  My burdens had been lifted to a shoulder much stronger than mine.  I was actually able to enjoy my hospital visits and not be anxious while I was away.  Raleigh was in a wedding this past Saturday for a dear childhood friend and the girls were doing so well that I decided to go with him.  I will admit that I was still a teeny tiny bit nervous to be away from the girls but the fact that I was able to leave town for the night shows how much I trusted the Lord.  Through the weekend, we ran into people that have been following our blog and it was so encouraging to us to receive their kind words.  When arriving back in Montgomery, our first stop was to the NICU and we were welcomed by these faces:

Maralee at six weeks

 

Adeline at six weeks

 

Absence sure does make the heart grow fonder!  Every day, the girls continue to grow and amaze me with their personalities.  Adeline has started to be so alert and she is actually enjoying her pacifier.  Maralee loves to be in K-care.  Raleigh and I have started to read books to them at night and it is so cute to see their eyes move at the sound of our voices. 

Even though the girls have made such progress, we still have a long way to go.  Yesterday, Maralee received another ugly infection. Basically, she got a hospital bacteria in her blood stream.  She is receiving antibiotics and the doctor assured me that it is treatable but we hate to see this setback.  This is round 3 but I must say that so far I am taking it much better than I did the first two times.  I am trying very hard to put my trust in God and to let him handle this infection.  Somebody gave me this verse and it fits perfectly: "But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God."  My times are in your hands" (Psalm 31:14-15).

This whole journey thus far has been about me trusting God with my children and Him refining my faith.  Mathew 10:8 states, "Freely you have received, freely give."  God has given us so much of His love and mercy and The Uncontainable Truth is my meek attempt at sharing His grace with all of you.  I want every person reading this blog to know how much God loves you.  He loves YOU.  He desires to have you as part of his kingdom.  Once you have accepted that Christ is your ultimate Savior; He desperately longs to have a deep relationship with you. 

Friends, the coolest thing about blogs and testimonies is that they inspire others.  I started this because someone inspired me.  If our story has inspired you, what are you going to do about it?  God has a great plan for your life and He is so ready for you to let Him show it to you.  The question is, will you let him?

...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act. - Proverbs 24:12

The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers to his harvest field - Matthew 9:37

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...

2 Catching Up

Hey Friends,

We just wanted to post some pictures for you all to see how big two pounds really is.  The pictures don't really do their size justice but it is neat to see the proportions. Also, below we have some links to older blog posts that will get you up to speed on our family and faith in Christ. Thank you again for praying for our little girls! 

Why we started The Uncontainable Truth

Getting the desires of our hearts

Gotta have faith

How we came up with the names Adeline and Maralee

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...

0 Everything's Gonna Be Alright

Good Morning Friends!

I couldn't leave y'all thinking I was all mopey after that last post so here is a video of a song that I love by Jack Johnson called "Rainbow." Yesterday I had a very productive day and I feel more like myself. I just needed to sit down and set some goals and organize my thoughts. As the saying goes, "You have to eat the elephant one bite at a time." Hope y'all enjoy this video!




Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...

0 Lesson Learned

Wow, what a weekend.  Raleigh and I have been up to our ears getting ready for our twins to arrive!  My mom came into town last week and started to help us re-organize our upstairs.  Before, we had two guest bedrooms and an "art room" but now we are going to make the art room the nursery and one of the guest bedrooms an office/craft space.  As you can see from the pictures below, we had a lot of stuff in our closets to move!!!!

The new office/art room (work in progress!)

Cleaning out clothes to make more closet space

My brother was a HUGE help!!!

The nursery to-be

On Saturday, we headed to Dothan to look at cribs/furniture for the nursery with our parents.  Raleigh is the ultimate researcher in our house and he has been on the computer for hours upon hours trying to find the best deal in the crib that we liked.  Of course, I found my dream crib at a really great store but the fact that we were needing two cribs, along with all the other furniture made these cribs out of our price range.  We also have had our minds set on white cribs.  I love all the cribs, but white just reminds me of babies and I really want everything to be soft and airy in the nursery.  Well, for those of you that haven't started this phase of your life, white cribs are harder to come by than you think!  Raleigh and I are both planners and he was very ready for us to make a decision on the cribs so we could move on to the next portion of the nursery.  So, Saturday we took the pups to D-town for a day trip and ended up with a successful purchase when everything was said and done.  It really was a relief to have that portion checked off the to-do list.

Saturday night rolled around and it dawned on Raleigh and I that we needed to plan our lesson for Sunday morning with the youth.  We just started teaching on Sunday mornings and are honestly still getting used to how it works.  At our church, small groups are a big deal so a lot of group time is very conversation-based with lots of discussion.  Well, turns out Sunday mornings are a little more on the "classroom teaching" side than discussion-based. We decided to use some notes that I had from a previous study about "God's Good Plan For Your Life."  It was very scripture-based and an awesome topic, but to be perfectly honest we didn't really prepare for it.  On Sunday morning, as we sat in front of thirty sets of eyes, we both froze.  Neither one of us could really "teach" the lesson, we just kept re-iterating what the scripture was saying.  About halfway through we could tell that we were losing them but we just kept pushing through the topic.  Finally, the hour passed and it was time for them to head to big church. 

Yesterday was a huge awakening to me.  Here I am, trying to be a disciple of Christ, and I completely bomb when given a chance to teach the Good News.  I was so embarrassed and ashamed of myself for the lack of effort I put into preparation for that topic.  The hardest part of it all was that we knew we were better than how we preformed.  It was like back in high school when our team would lose a soccer game because we hadn't given our all in practice.  We didn't give ourselves time to practice for Sunday morning and we played a poor game in return.  Have you ever been in that kind of situation before?

It might seem like I am being a little hard on myself, but if you could have only been there to hear the crickets!  Today, I am thankful that it happened because I definetely learned my lesson.  Pride, laziness and self-confidence got the best of me and I just thought we could wing-it and be perfectly fine.  WRONG.  And besides, is that how I want to start doing things? A half-way version of my true self?  NO. 

The whole ironic part of it was that we were doing a lesson on God's plan for our lives.  Right now, I am laughing at myself for being so boastful in thinking I had this figured out and had no need to prepare notes.  I have recently been through some life-changing experience following God's plan for my life and not once did I even bring that up yesterday.  How much better the lesson could have been if only I had tried a little harder!

Friends, please know that I am speaking as much to myself as to you when saying this but we have got to start living out our full potential.  We have to give our work everything we have to be successful.  Doing things half-way will only give us half of the results.  God does have such a good plan for our lives but we have to do our part in fulfilling it.  Using this situation, I have to start preparing more in order to be a better teacher.  Do you find yourself ever just going through the motions?  Take it from me, start getting yourself into high gear so you don't find yourself flat on your face!

I want to leave you all with some of the lesson we spoke from yesterday.  Let's all start to live out God's good plan for our lives!

"God is good.  He wills only the best for us.  He has created us with rich capacities to enjoy - physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually - and He "giveth us richly all things to enjoy" (1 Timothy 6:17).  He has also formed each of us with unique potential to make a contribution to life.


Often we feel we know better than God does what is good for us.  Our definition of "good" is getting what we think we want when we want it.  We want what is easy and what will bring immediate relief, pleasure or sense of achievement.  God cares about our present joy, but He is also concerned about maturing our capacity to enjoy in all aspects of our person.  He wants us to learn a happiness that is not governed by what happens in our lives, a happiness that is stable, not always threatened.  He wants us to go beyond the dribbles of happiness that we can force life to give us.


True happiness must be based on a yielding, believing relationship to God.  It must include the ability to love God and others plus the feeling of fulfillment that comes from giving to life what we were uniquely designed to contribute."

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...

5 New Beginnings

"If we celebrate the years behind us, they become stepping-stones of strength and joy for the years ahead"

Hello, my favorite blogger community.  I have missed you.  I sure do have lots to catch you up on, but I will try to tell you everything in their own individual posts so they get their special time on the uncontainable truth.

Where to start?  I guess I should start by filling you all in on what has been going on in my life the last couple of weeks.  Actually, the last year but the change really started becoming a reality over the month of February.  Early last month I resigned from my job at the American Cancer Society.  This past Wednesday was my last day at work so now I have officially begun a new chapter of my life.  I'm excited, scared, and adjusting all at the same time but I know this change is a step in the right direction.

I think it is time to re-wind and fill you all in on what brought about this change.  Last summer, I really began to pray for the Lord to show me his purpose for my life.  I started to explore the spiritual gifts that he has given me and really define how I can use those gifts to better his kingdom here on earth.  As a follower of Jesus Christ, I am called to be his disciple.  For a long time, I really struggled with how I would go about doing that and what my "calling" truly is.  The Lord put on my heart to begin writing and sharing my thoughts with others so that is when the blog began.  When I attended the Beth Moore simulcast in late August, I prayed for God to answer the desires of my heart which were:
1. To put into action his purpose for my life
2. To become a mom
All fall, I searched for the answers to these prayers and really struggled emotionally with how these changes would affect our lives.  Raleigh, being the practical husband that he is, would constantly be running numbers and to be honest, it just didn't add up.  But, one Sunday, our preacher spoke about how Jesus' favorite word was "Go."  In Matthew 4:18-20 it says, "As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew.  They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen.  "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men,"  At once they left their nets and followed him."

Y'all, the Holy Spirit wrapped his loving arms around Raleigh and I that day.  It was like our preacher was speaking these words directly into our cotton-filled ears.  From that moment on, we were convinced that God was moving in big ways in our lives and we had better start following him before we got left behind.  That day, we made a decision that would radically change our lives.  We decided that it was time for me to run full-throttle in pursuit of Jesus so I could share his awesome love with others through means of bible study, mentoring, teaching, and serving others through my spiritual gifts. 

Over Thanksgiving, we shared for the first time His plans for our lives with our parents.  All four of them were in agreeance that if God had called me to do something, I better follow him.  It was so humbling to have their blessings on this decision.  When Raleigh and I returned to Montgomery after that weekend, we were given a reward from our loving Father.  We found out we were pregnant.  Friends, never in my life have I felt his face shine upon me like it did that evening.  We were awestruck by his wonderful ways.  It was truly a moment that I will return to again and again whenever I doubt if he is listening to my prayers. 

Now that a decision had finally been made, we were at the point of having to act upon it.  You would think that would be the easy part, but I was scared to death to jump off the cliff into the unknown waters below.  I started to analyze and question the decision.  I let fear and doubt come into my mind and Satan just had a field day with me.  The decision just seemed so not of this world and very unpractical.  I also had obligations.  I'm not a quitter and I loved my job so it really didn't make sense for me to just turn 180 degrees and drop everything I have worked so hard to accomplish.  So, like Moses, I started to ask God if he really wanted me to do this task.  I needed proof. Confirmation that this was real and not a crazy dream.

Well, if I needed proof, our Creator decided He would show me proof times two.  As I mentioned here, at our first ultrasound we found out we were having twins.  I just sat on the exam room table and let the tears go.  He knew I had always wanted twins but we didn't have them in our family.  Walking to the car that day, I received my strength from the spirit to let go of this world and to fully put my trust in the Lord that he would provide for our family.

Sweet brothers and sisters, I never dreamed that I would be where I am with my life today.  I couldn't imagine that this was what He had planned for me.  As the old saying goes, "Don't fix what ain't broken."  My job wasn't broken but God knew that there was no way I would leave it if I wasn't expecting twins.  He knew I didn't have a quitter heart and that I didn't want to let anyone down at that wonderful organization.  I loved what I did and I was good at it so why change it?  Because He loves me and knows that there is more work for me to do for his kingdom. Greater things are still to be done but with a willing heart I am taking my first baby steps in his direction for this new dawning of my life.

 If any of you are struggling with your "calling" in life, I urge you to fervently seek him for guidance.  At our winter retreat this January, our speaker had seven points that we should follow when answering our calling.
1. Define what God has called you to do (Nehemiah 2:17)
2. Question It (Luke 14:25)
3. Plan It (Nehemiah 2:5)
4. Deadline It (Proverbs 20:4, Luke 12:35)
5. GO FOR IT! (Proverbs 6:6, Luke 9:62)
6. Expect challenges to it (Exodus 4:29, Exodus 5, Nehemiah 2:17)
7. Be Found Doing It (Luke 12:35)
(Click here to view scripture from points 1-4 and here for points 5-7)

"Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him." - Luke 12:35

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...

0 Just Keep Pedalling

As I sit on my bed this evening trying to put my thoughts into words all I can think of how to start this post is that honesty is always the best policy.

So, I'll be honest. The month of December was busy for me (as I'm sure it was for all of you) and as I was taking my time off from work, I found myself taking time off from my daily routine of being in the word of God. I love to read but I had no desire to pick up any book or devotional. You can call me a "spiritual slacker" if you will, and I'm not proud to admit that.

From my experience, my walk with Christ is like riding a bike up and down rolling hills. My journey starts out with strong legs pumping my bike up the first hill and my head speaks words of encouragement to my heart. I reach the top of that hill and I come to God in thanksgiving. Then, as I start the fast downhill spin I am just bursting with joy and a fresh spirit. But, as I continue to pedal up one hill after the next, it just gets harder for my head to tell my legs to move and for my heart to be willing to make the journey. At this point, I feel defeated and as though I will never get to my ultimate destination. So, I start to slow down. I might get off my bike and take a break, maybe walk the bike up the next hill to keep moving, but my direction is lost. I need help. So, when life gets to hard to stand, I kneel. In prayer, I cry out to God telling him that I can't do this any more, that I feel so defeated, so lost. I pray for Christ to point me in the right direction so I can reach my final destination. I ask Christ to provide me fellow travelers to help me make my journey. He whispers in my legs to get back on the bike. He takes control of my head and my heart just follows him to the finish line.

I find that the truly fulfilled people in life are the ones that have a personal relationship with Christ. Not people that claim to be spiritual, or even ones that call themselves Christians and state that they have been raised in the church. I mean people that learn that they can't do squat in life without Christ guiding their paths. Now, as illustrated above, that doesn't mean that everything is just rosy in that relationship. It's hard like any other relationships that we have. An effort has to be made on our end but the great thing about this relationship is the effort has, is, and will always be made by our Savior, Jesus Christ. When we engage in this relationship, we can't help but be fulfilled in life.

When our lives are fulfilled through Christ, we start to put that as the focus of everything that we do. I believe that this makes us better people and wonderful contributors to society. This does not mean we will always be the richest, the CEO's, or never get cancer but it does mean that we will be living our lives with the sole purpose of loving Christ and then loving others. When doing this, we start to see why we were put on this earth and how we can make the most of His purpose for our lives. We have His guidance, blessings, and love filling our spirit every single day.

I think it is easy to state that we all know people that don't have the best track record in life. People who drop out of school, don't get jobs, steal money from their friends, take advantage of their parents, have pre-marital sex only to get pregnant and then live off of baby daddy child support....the list can go on and on. We see our children, brothers, sisters, or friends making these mistakes and just watch them spiral down-hill. As a parent, I can only imagine how tough it would be to see your child go down a path of destruction. *In Exodus, chapter 34, the Lord spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai. As he passed in front of Moses, he proclaimed, "The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished." (Exodus 34:6-7)

**In this verse, a key phrase to focus on is "maintaining love to thousands." This word maintain can be translated to guard, to protect to keep. God is abounding in love for us and he shows this to us through blessings in our lives. God never withdraws his love from us but he does withdraw blessings when need be. Parents, if you are dealing with a disobedient child, the best thing you can do for your child is to withdraw the blessing but not the love. So often, we find ourselves feeding the beast. If you see your child making a bad decision, don't give them things (money, clothes, car, etc.) that can be fuel to the fire. Continue to give them your love, compassion, and grace. Try so hard to be like God and be slow to anger and to forgive them when they hurt you. It won't be easy but who said being a parent was easy?

As I close, I just want to encourage all of you to keep pedalling. If you have to walk your bike up the hill from time to time, know that you aren't walking alone. Life is hard and it is so easy for us to take an off-road path but I challenge all of us to stay on the path that Christ is guiding for our lives. I can't wait to meet y'all in heaven one day.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

*NIV Bible
**Beth Moore, Living Proof Live.
Memphis, TN. 2009.

Read more ...

0 Pay no attention to the man behind the blog...

Hey everyone, I'm Christen's husband, Raleigh, and I just wanted to thank you all for being a part of this community. It is absolutely amazing to see it growing the way it is. In the near future, we hope to start expanding everything the blog has to offer and really turn it into more of an actual website full of different opportunities for people to reach out to each other and grow closer to God. Throughout this process, please feel free to share your opinions on how you would like to see this community grow. Successful communities take a lot of planning, so we would like to hear what our "residents" have to say. With that said, I just so happen to be the more tech-oriented of the family. So I ask that as we begin to make these transitions that you bear with us. New features will become available over time, so if you click on a link and it appears to be dead, feel free to let me now. Again, thank you all for the support, and I look forward to taking a more active role at The Uncontainable Truth.

-Raleigh

Read more ...

1 Magnificent

Today I come to you with tired eyes and a slightly scratchy throat, but the experience that gave me these things was exceptional. As I mentioned last week, Raleigh and I bought tickets to attend the U2 concert in Atlanta. Yesterday we drove to the big city and had an awesome time letting loose to our favorite U2 songs. Sometimes it is nice to have a break from the usual routine. I put on a fun dress and my heels and shook my groove thing on a Tuesday night! I encourage everyone to take time out of their usual schedules and do something a little different this week.

We had seats in the nose bleed section but it didn't matter. The tour is named 360 because they built this amazing set to become more intimate with the audience. You can see in the picture below, but they nicknamed their set the "spaceship." Basically, there are these huge spider-looking legs coming from the four corners and where they connect is this big 360 degree screen that hangs above the band. So, even if you are sitting in the cheapest seats in the house (like us) you still have an up-close and personal view of the band. It was really a cool experience.


One thing that I love most about U2 is that they are a band that sings with a purpose. All of their songs have such profound meanings. Last night, they played one of my all-time favorites, "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and as I was throwing my fist into the air I really took time to soak up the words. Another song that they sang was "Magnificent." Take a look at some of the lyrics to this song:

I was born, I was born to sing for you
I didn't have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice from the womb
My first cry, it was a joyful noise, oh, oh

As Bono sang these words, I was struck by the truth in them. This guy, this band, they are living out their purpose in life. God gave them the gift of music and they are using it to touch millions every single day.

I often struggle with the word purpose. To me, that word defines all that I am and all that God intended for me to become. I, like most of you, have read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and I know that my purpose in life is to glorify the Lord and to live my life according to Him. But, how exactly?

Romans 12:8 tells us, "We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."

The word gifts comes from the Greek word charismata, referring to special gifts of grace - freely given by God to his people to meet the needs of the body. I think, if we take some time for intense self-observation, it is easy to recognize the gifts that God has given us. But, I think the part that makes it tricky is figuring out how to use these gifts to 'meet the needs of the body.' Going through our days, we have to remember to show our gifts of encouragement or service to others but we also should be making a conscious effort to plug ourselves into our gifts 100%. For adults, I believe that we should pick our jobs by using our gifts, not just working for the paycheck every month.

For some of us, is that easier said than done? How many people do we know that are unhappy with their current jobs? Or, they have been doing the same thing for so many years they don't even remember why they decided to do it in the first place? I know people in every stage of life from college to the age of 50 that wake up every day asking themselves, "Is this really what I am supposed to be doing with my life?" I think that some of us know what we want to do from an early age but many of us just end up in an unhappy place because we never really figured out what we are supposed to be doing. I know that sounds a little harsh, but I think it is a common struggle for many people. Or, I think some of us have dreams and we are too scared to drop everything and chase after that dream.

Friends, I want to give you this encouragement today. Do what you were born to do. We might not have all been born to be rock stars, but we were all born with gifts that are intended to be used. "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." - Romans 9:17.

God gave us gifts! He gave them to us out of grace and He expects us to use them to live according to His glorious name! Don't be afraid...I know it is so easy to worry about the what ifs of dropping everything. How am I going to pay my bills? Who will give me insurance? What if I fail? Is it too late to start chasing my dreams? Please hold true to this statement: God will provide for us. He provided for Moses and the Israelites when they needed food in the desert and HE WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU. Trust in Him and He will bless you abundantly.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...

0 The Uncontainable Truth

This tale begins about a girl who doesn’t know what on earth she was put here to do. She knows God gave her gifts, but they don’t quite make sense. Her parents always encouraged her in all of her endeavors growing up. Go for it! You can do it! Believe in yourself and don’t let anybody tell you different! In college, she was honored to hold various leadership positions. She felt like she was making a difference. And truth be known, she really was making a difference because she woke up every day with a goal to achieve. She had friends, she had family, and she even had a cute boyfriend that loved her so very much. But, her life still did not seem all together. There were too many puzzle pieces missing from the box.

After college, she became Miss Independent by living all on her own for the very first time in a city far far away (okay, 3 hours far away technically, but it was a for real city.) She struggled to figure out where she should work and often wondered out loud to herself, “Why again did I major in Communications????” Then one day, luck was on her side and her sorority sister hooked her up with an interview with one of the largest not for profit organizations in the whole country. She went on the interview and knew she had nailed it. After a couple of weeks, the phone never rang so she got brave and started doing the calling. Turns out the execs thought she would be better at another job in the company so she went on a second interview. Dressed in her lucky pink and green suit she walked in with a confident smile on her face and she just knew this was it. This was the one. Little did she know that the person interviewing her had already accepted a job with another company and she would be leaving her current position in a short period of time. So, after weeks of no phone calls, the girl found out the company was doing some restructuring and they would have to get back with her when and if an opening becomes available. With her head hung low, the girl politely told the company thank you and to keep her in mind if a position did become available.

Now what? How was she supposed to be Miss Independent and a soon-to-be Mrs. without a job? In order for her and her fiance to become husband and wife, she needed to have a job with benefits for them while he was still finishing school. Reluctantly, she did what she never ever in her whole life thought she would have to do. She applied to work at a bank. As a teller. This is a girl who “accidentally” spent $1,000 in one month when she became Miss Independent and who had honestly never been that good at balancing a check book. And, still to this day, the girl doesn’t know how to count out money and have all the Benjamin’s facing in the right direction. But the job had benefits, insurance, and a paycheck so she did what she had to do.

As she began her training she convinced herself that she was doing the right thing. She was engaged to be married in less than 7 months and she was making a sacrifice so she could be united forever and ever with her best friend in the whole wide world. “You gotta do what you gotta do,” she told herself every morning as she was learning how to identify a counterfeit bill. Then, one day in her training she received a phone call from out of the blue. An opening in the company! Oh, my! What a joy! She quickly and very secretly set up a meeting with her potential employer. They met, they talked, they sealed the deal. Finally, she got a real job that she was proud of!!!!! She felt like it was meant to be. Her first real job where she would be making a difference in other people’s lives! How wonderful! God was so very good and loved the young girl so very much.

God has taken care of that young girl since she was knit in her mothers’ womb. At this point in the story, you have probably figured out that girl is me. Throughout my life, He has opened doors that were constantly being shut. He gave me opportunity when all I saw was darkness. Now, three years later, I still love what I do and don’t plan on giving it up anytime soon, but I keep wondering if this is my full purpose in life. I know it is apart of the big puzzle but I am still missing a few key pieces to make the puzzle into a piece of art. But, finally, at the age of 25 I know what puzzle pieces I should be looking for. I have a direction and an obligation to fulfill to the One that knew me before He gave me to my parents. Below are a couple of those pieces that I have started to identify:

1. My purpose in life is to serve the Lord. Some of you might say, “duh” of course that is our purpose in life. To me, I have known for a long time that I want to serve the Lord but in what ways was I designed to do that? I can’t sing, I can’t speak in tongues, I don’t have the gift of being a caregiver. But, He has given me an encouraging spirit. He has given me a voice that is sometimes heard and needed by others. He has given me compassion and drive and a servants’ heart.

2. My purpose on this earth is to love my family. I mean, truly love them with all my heart. Yes, they get on my nerves and yes, I see so many flaws in them but YES I have so many flaws in me. My goal here is to be a loving daughter, a sister my brother feels proud to be his sister, and most importantly, a wife that loves her husband from the depths of her heart. One day, God willing, I will be a mother and my duty to society is to bring up our children to be children that serve and love the Lord with all their little big hearts.

3. My purpose on this earth is to care for others. That part, I am still figuring out. There are so many ways to care for others. As I have already mentioned, I don’t see myself as a caregiver, but I see myself more as a caring giver. I want to help people. I would love to see women living lives of noble character and families staying together and an end to poverty in this world. We are all children of the Lord and we are meant to love one another. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.

So, in closing, the girl at the beginning of this story is finally starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I still have some pieces to figure out and once I get done with this one I’m sure to begin another one but in the meantime, I need your prayers. I was fearful to take this step to writing a blog because it meant me being so open about my inner most feelings but I believe there is a purpose behind all of this and Jesus is giving me the nudge to share His glorious name with others out there. The verse in the Bible that is the mission of this journey is this: “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” – (Matthew 5:17).

When I started to really break down that verse, I realized that Jesus doesn’t want our light to be contained under a bowl so no one can see it. He wants our light to be uncontainable where no bowl no matter the size can hide the light that so brightly needs to be burned. So, here I am. I am letting this little light of mine shine. And I hope it gives you light.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

Read more ...