2 Book Review - Fathered by God

Hey everybody, its been a while, but I'm back with another book review. This one comes just in time for Father's Day. It's not to late to rush out and pick up something special - if you have no ideas whatsoever, then I am here to help you out with this review.

Description:

New York Times best-selling author John Eldredge unveils the six stages men must complete to become who God designed them to be.

In this life-changing message from John Eldredge, readers discover a paradigm-shifting path to manhood. He unveils the six stages many men miss, stages they must complete in order to become the man God designed them to be. Inspiring, insightful, and challenging for men and the women in their lives, Fathered by God delivers the very thing men need, a way to forge companionship with God the Father while undergoing a transformation, releasing the fullness of life and the passion God designed them to live.

Review:

I picked up this book a while back when I was looking for Christian books on parenting. I'm not one who really likes to be told how to live his life or raise his children, so that eliminated 99% of the books out there. I stumbled upon this book simply because it had "fathered" in the title. I had read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge when I was in high school and it was one of the first books I read in my life that compelled me to truly be a Christian Man, so I thought I would give this one a go too.

The subtitle of this book is Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You. I am extremely blessed that I have had a Christian father that has directly shaped my life. Not all boys are this lucky. Eldredge hits at the heart of our modern society - the "Self-Made Man" - a false sense of security that we hold onto when no one in our life has gone before us and shown us the way. It comes from a very real sense of fear that we are alone in this world. While true that these men do show a great sense of determination, most are "driven" by the fear of abandonment they have felt in their lives. Eldredge states that the real discovery comes when we find ourselves in such a need that we ultimately realize the answer that has always been in front of us. Only our heavenly father can truly show us the way.

Realization of the truth is only part of the task. All men desire to be tested, and the Lord has created an initiation process that spans our whole life. This Masculine Journey is broken down into six phases - Boyhood, Cowboy, Warrior, Lover, King, and Sage. While these stages are somewhat chronological, it is not uncommon to experience them throughout life or even several of them at once. In Boyhood, we learn what it feels like to be safe in our father's arms - safe in the presence of a real man who can handle anything in the world - or the crushing reality of a rejection that becomes the defining point of an individuals life. As a Cowboy, we ask "Do I have what it takes" because men and boys alike learn by doing. Warriors learn that there are certain things in life worth fighting for. It's a difficult reality for the modern Christian who is to often labeled a pacifist. The Lover is not merely the stage a young man falls in love with a girl but the moment that the Lord moves him. He is awakened to notice the glory of God in all of his creation. The heart of a King is tested when mankind trusts him with power. Eldredge boldly claims that the Bible is the story of God wanting to entrust men with his power, and men not being able to handle it. His power is given to us for influence that benefits others, too often it is to our own. All Kings come to a time when they must step down from their throne. It is at this moment that his influence actually increases. The Sage's wisdom and experience has been forged with humility and compassion. Too often our world dismisses the elderly in favor of the young and beautiful.

Any initiation will test you physically and emotionally - it is the only way we will discover that there is more to ourselves and that God is our strength.

Recommendation: This book is a must read for any boy or man. I would recommend it to anyone who is at least in high school. There truly is something to learn at all stages in our life, but it may be hard to comprehend some of these ideas until one has experienced each of these stages in some way. Eldredge has a very simple way of story telling that draws you in; you will pass through the book in no time. The book is rooted in scripture but it does not throw it in your face. Often he relates these truths to classical adventures such as Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings. I know we have a large female following, yet I hope you experience this book in some way too. If you are struggling to understand the journey a man in your life is on; I would encourage you to read this book.

-Raleigh

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3 Inspired

As the NICU has become my home away from home, the nurses have become some of my new best friends.  We talk about food, clothes, movies, and of course, the girls.  In their own way, they offer me advice, comfort, and a warm smile that helps me make it through the day.  They tell me stories of other babies that once occupied those beige walls with mint green nursery borders and how one day I will barely remember this experience because our girls will be healthy and strong. Forgetting this journey seems impossible to me now but I can see how the days can easily blur themselves into one long memory that parents don't want to replay in their minds.  But, for me, I don't want to forget this experience.  As painful as it may be; remembering the bad makes me appreciate the good.  On Sunday, Raleigh and I started looking through some of the first pictures that we took of the girls.  They were so small and had so many tubes inside of them.  Looking back made us realize how great is our God.  Today, our girls have grown and have both reached three pounds!!!  What a miracle!  They each got to wear clothes for the first time last week.  I was shocked to see them with clothes on their backs.  Of course, they are still huge on them but it is a step in the right direction.

Adeline lookin' like summertime in her yellow onesie

 

Maralee is pretty in pink :)

 

God continues to amaze me with his timing.  Last week was a time of healing and restoration of faith for me.  Each day, I continued to accept his peace and for the first time in a long time I felt light.  My burdens had been lifted to a shoulder much stronger than mine.  I was actually able to enjoy my hospital visits and not be anxious while I was away.  Raleigh was in a wedding this past Saturday for a dear childhood friend and the girls were doing so well that I decided to go with him.  I will admit that I was still a teeny tiny bit nervous to be away from the girls but the fact that I was able to leave town for the night shows how much I trusted the Lord.  Through the weekend, we ran into people that have been following our blog and it was so encouraging to us to receive their kind words.  When arriving back in Montgomery, our first stop was to the NICU and we were welcomed by these faces:

Maralee at six weeks

 

Adeline at six weeks

 

Absence sure does make the heart grow fonder!  Every day, the girls continue to grow and amaze me with their personalities.  Adeline has started to be so alert and she is actually enjoying her pacifier.  Maralee loves to be in K-care.  Raleigh and I have started to read books to them at night and it is so cute to see their eyes move at the sound of our voices. 

Even though the girls have made such progress, we still have a long way to go.  Yesterday, Maralee received another ugly infection. Basically, she got a hospital bacteria in her blood stream.  She is receiving antibiotics and the doctor assured me that it is treatable but we hate to see this setback.  This is round 3 but I must say that so far I am taking it much better than I did the first two times.  I am trying very hard to put my trust in God and to let him handle this infection.  Somebody gave me this verse and it fits perfectly: "But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God."  My times are in your hands" (Psalm 31:14-15).

This whole journey thus far has been about me trusting God with my children and Him refining my faith.  Mathew 10:8 states, "Freely you have received, freely give."  God has given us so much of His love and mercy and The Uncontainable Truth is my meek attempt at sharing His grace with all of you.  I want every person reading this blog to know how much God loves you.  He loves YOU.  He desires to have you as part of his kingdom.  Once you have accepted that Christ is your ultimate Savior; He desperately longs to have a deep relationship with you. 

Friends, the coolest thing about blogs and testimonies is that they inspire others.  I started this because someone inspired me.  If our story has inspired you, what are you going to do about it?  God has a great plan for your life and He is so ready for you to let Him show it to you.  The question is, will you let him?

...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act. - Proverbs 24:12

The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers to his harvest field - Matthew 9:37

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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0 Party Time

"A friend loves at all times" - Proverbs17:17

Last Sunday, my sweet Montgomery friends gave us a baby shower for the girls.  The shower was originally planned for the first Sunday of May but since the girls came that Friday we obviously had to reschedule.  It was so nice of them to reschedule the shower for us and I was so excited to visit with friends that I have not gotten to see since the babies arrived.  We had so much fun and got some great goodies for the girls.  It was funny for me to be opening presents because I already know the girls' personalities.  I would open up a bag filled with pacifiers and think of Maralee because she loves to suck on her paci or I would unwrap a bundle of burp cloths and they would remind me of Adeline since she is our little spit up queen.  Opening the gifts made me realize that these were really for the girls and they would actually need these things.  Thank you all so much for giving us your love and generosity!!!!

 Adeline at 4 weeks

 Maralee at 4 weeks

 Wonderful friends and fabulous hostesses!  

From left to right: Ashley, Sandy, Me, Brittany, Jessica, and Stephanie

My friend Jill and her daughter Taylor

Thank you for the cute clothes from Auburn!!!!

War Eagle :)

My sister-in-law, KB, made these adorable monogrammed tutu outfits for the girls.

Precious!!!!

One of my sorority sisters, Ellen, had these cute diaper wipes monogrammed. 

Very creative!!!!

Two of my JEB buddies, Kristin and Amanda

 

Our families got to come to the shower 

left to right: My mom, Raleigh's mom, Raleigh's Nan Nan, Me, KB

(it was just a good excuse for them to visit with the girls!)

After this shower, we have started to put the final touches on the nursery.  I will be sure to post pictures once it is ready!!!  Have a great Sunday afternoon :)

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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0 About Us

Hey friends,

I have to make this post a quickie for today.  I'm on my way to get my hair cut and I am extremely excited because it is long overdue.  Anyways, just wanted to update all of you about a new link on the blog.  If you notice in the top right corner, we have different sections titled: Home, About, Contact, Do, Give, Teach, and Pray.  We have updated the About page so please check it out to learn more about us. (I just cracked myself up typing that sentence!)  If you have taken time to read any older posts, you will notice that this blog is about our faith and how we try to share it on an every day basis.  Of course, our faith is being tested primarily by our experience with the girls right now, but we do like to talk about other avenues that we have had to glorify Christ's name.  Also, our future plans for the site are to update the Do, Give, Teach, and Pray links so we will keep you posted when that happens.  Thank you for reading our site, we are truly humbled by how many people are sharing this experience with us.  We hope that you all will continue to join us on this journey!

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

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4 Kangaroo Care

Good Monday morning!

It is unreal to me that a week ago we were told that Maralee needed to go to Birmingham.  How far we have come since last Monday!  God has been so faithful to our family and has heard all of our prayers.  First, Maralee has done a complete turn-around since Monday.  Now that she has her PICC line, she is able to get her medicine without being constantly pricked.  She started back on her feeds and now she is getting 10 cc's every three hours (a week ago she was getting no food, just the fluids to give her vitamins, fats, etc.).  Both of our girls have been digesting the formula and they weigh 2 pounds 9 ounces.  Last week they were around 2.4 so that is definitely an improvement. 

Another great blessing that the Lord provided us is we got to experience Kangaroo Care with Adeline.  *K- care is when a parent holds their preemie skin-to-skin.  This helps preemies gain weight faster, leave the hospital sooner, cry less, have more stable temperatures, are more alert, sleep better, breathe better, and have more stable heart rates.  It also helps parents not to feel depressed, interact more with baby, feel more important, and bond better.  Research shows that when babies nestle against a parent's chest, especially with their ear over the heartbeat, the contact with the parent's body seems to stabilize the baby's breathing and heart rate.  Feeling mom or dad helps to remind the preemie to breathe.

Holding Adeline so close to me was the best feeling.  I actually got to touch her baby soft skin and feel the rhythm of her heartbeat on my chest.  It was so cool.  I could stay in K-care for hours if the nurses let me.  Raleigh also got to try it and his heart just melted.  Seeing those big eyes looking up at him made my husband hopelessly in love with that little girl.

I believe that God let us experience K-care to help us through last week.  It was a rough week but that was his way of providing some sunshine on an otherwise dreary week.  God has a way of surprising us when we least expect it.  Neither one of us thought we would get to hold them so close to us while we were in the hospital so it was a very gratifying reward. 

On a final note, I have been asking God to help me accept his peace.  Through this experience, I have struggled with the fact that my normal means of releasing tension just won't work right now.  I'm not quite ready to work out, I can't go on vacation to the beach, and it has been hard for us to have a date night without thinking about the girls.  Whenever I'm not at the hospital, I start to miss the girls.  It is an unusual feeling to be a parent but not really have the full responsibilities of a parent right now.  I think that is why I have left this experience on my shoulders because it gives me a feeling of "doing" something for the girls.  In some weird way, it is my way of looking after them.  But, I have got to give that up because it is just too exhausting.  I'm not myself and I can't carry this weight on my own, so I need to stop trying.  Frankly, I'm tired and we still have a long journey ahead of us.  So, I am trying very hard to give my worries to the Lord.  They are his children and we just have them on loan.  I thank him everyday for giving us these beautiful baby girls but I have to remind myself that they are His gift to us, not something I bought on my own.  Yesterday, while taking communion, I felt His presence whispering to me, "Here is my peace.  Take it child."  I hung my head and accepted a small portion of what I needed most.  I have been having such an internal battle of accepting his peace but I have begun to realize that receiving this is the only way I can release my built-up tension. If I want to unwind this tightly-wound ball inside of my chest I have to allow His peace to come inside of me.  It is on me to ask for this peace because he continually offers it to me.  Matthew 7:7-8 tells us, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

*The Premature Baby Book

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3 The Feelings

Lord, I am emotionally exhausted.  I am tired, sad, grateful, and scared all at the same time.  I feel like I have been going through the clothes dryer with my feelings just tumbling around in circles.  God, I have faith in you and I do trust you with our girls.  But, I still have fear and sadly I have doubt.  It scares me to think that one of them or both might not make it.  I feel like we have come so far in a month and then boom! something like Monday happens.  That whole day was so hard for me.  I could barely speak because if I did I knew the tears would soon follow.  Deep down I understood that taking her to Birmingham was only going to help her but I had a fear that she wouldn't return.  It was so sad to see her in her little incubator with her head shaved.  She just looked so sick.  Maralee kept putting her hand to her face for comfort.  To watch her comfort herself killed me.  That is my job as mommy - she shouldn't have to comfort herself at such a young age.  I can tell by her face and body movements that she feels pain.  My little girl looks like a pushpin.  She has at least six prick marks in her right arm alone.  God, I can only imagine how you felt seeing your son on the cross with all of the holes in his arms.  My cry as her mother is for her to be strong.  You gave her a spirited personality for reasons such as this.  Oh God, how I love her.  I know you love her so much more but I love her so, so much.  You are the only one that can fix her and make her feel better.  I feel so worthless at times.  I know that my ways of helping her are to pray, visit, and breast pump but I just don't feel like that is enough.  I wish I could do more.

God, life is not easy.  It is hard.  I am so tired right now.  I do realize that this is a mere moment in the grand scheme of things but it is a moment that I am living every single day.  This is a defining moment in my faith towards your almighty being.   I believe in you and I trust you.  Your peace is hovering over my head like a helicopter but I haven't granted you permission to land.  Having a peaceful state of mind just doesn't feel right.  I need to stop carrying the weight of my world on my shoulders.  It would make this journey a whole lot lighter.  How come I know all of these things but I am not doing them?  Is it a lack of faith or trust?  I am not sure.  Jesus, I love you and I need you.  I am weak and you are strong.  Thank you for your unconditional love.

You are the LIGHT in the darkness.  You are the COMFORTER to the weak.  You are the ALPHA and OMEGA.  You are our awesome CREATOR.  You are the ultimate PHYSICIAN.  You are STRONG and your LOVE is unfailing.  You are the KING of kings and the LORD of lords.  Thank you for your GRACE and MERCY.

Oh, God, how I need you. With you, I have no doubt that everything is going to be alright.  It might not be the way that I want but in the end we won't have any more pain or suffering.  Please give me your strength to make it through this journey. Thank you for your love.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

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3 The Facts

Friends, I apologize for such a late response to the post on Monday.  The past couple of days have been filled with tons of feelings and it has been hard for us to put into words exactly what we went through.  I sat down yesterday for three hours trying to come up with a post that would explain what happened and also to explain how I felt.  Writing the day down on the blog made it seem like it was nothing when it actually was something that is still on my heart today.  I appreciate the support that we have been given by all of you - trust me it has helped far more than you will ever know.  But, sometimes I feel like nobody truly understands what I am feeling unless they have been in my place.  I know we must all feel that way at times....like we are going through our trials all alone.

As most people were enjoying their day off from work, we received a grim phone call from our doctor saying that Maralee's veins were no longer taking her I.V.'s and she would need to go to Children's to have a surgical procedure done.  Maralee has been on two different antibiotics, one for her staff infection and the other for her yeast infection. For her to be given these medicines, she has had to have two different I.V.'s because they can not be mixed into the same vein.  Since her birth, she has been stuck in all possible locations - heels, legs, arms, even her head.    The nurses had been warning us that it was possible for the meds to break down her premature veins.   On  Monday, they made several last chance attempts to stick her - they even went as far as to shave her little head in spots to get a prick - but nothing would stay.  Her veins were so weak that the I.V.'s were literally falling out.  So, the doctor told us that Children's would need to come and get her so they could do a surgical procedure for her to have a method to permanently receive her medicine.  Basically, they would need to cut an incision into her neck or leg so the medicine could flow directly into the stronger veins  that are found deeper within the body (very similar to a "port" for cancer patients to receive chemotherapy). Of course she was going to need two incisions because of the medicine - the emotional side of me could only think of the fact that one of my daughters was likely now going to have two large scars on her beautiful little neck.

Soon, we were heading north to meet our girl at the hospital located in downtown Birmingham. We weren't sure how long she would be staying at Children's so I packed enough clothes for a week and Raleigh decided he would stay the night and then decide if he needed to head back to Montgomery.  It crushed me at the thought that I wouldn't get to see Adeline for a couple of days but I couldn't bear for Maralee to be all alone either.  So, Raleigh's mom came to stay in Montgomery with Adeline and we went to Birmingham, along with my parents for support. Driving on I-65, I thought it was slightly ironic that she was being treated at Children's because that hospital was one of my accounts when I worked at the American Cancer Society.  After all of those visits, never did I dream that I would be visiting for my own child.  Walking through the cheerfully decorated corridor, we located the NICU and met our new nursing team.  They informed us that they would first attempt to insert a PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter) line into her and if that didn't work, which was likely, they would have to do the surgical procedure.  So we sat.  And we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Late afternoon, we were finally allowed into the NICU to see our daughter.  It was interesting walking into a new NICU - they were the same yet very different.  It just didn't feel like home but we knew it was a great home if that makes any sense.  When we located Maralee's new incubator, we were told that we could visit with her for a little while, and then the nurse would try to insert the PICC line.  It was a relief to finally see her - I knew she was safe but it was still nice to look down and see her beautiful face.  After our short but sweet visit, we left to get some dinner so the nurse could have time to do her thing.  My parents treated us to P.F. Chang's but I wasn't in the festive mood.  It was hard to even make conversation because all I could think about was Maralee.  When our food came, the savory smell filled my nose and I realized how famished I was from that stressful day.  After eating, I felt better and we returned to the hospital.


After more hours of waiting, we were finally allowed to enter the NICU.  By the grace of God, the PICC line was a success.  Thanks to a machine that allowed the nurse to see the larger veins beneath the skin, she was able to locate a strong vein in the pit of Maralee's arm.  This process is extremely less invasive to her body and decreases the chances of additional infections.  Also, they installed a dual-PICC line which required only one insertion point.  The new PICC will be permanent until Maralee comes home, she will not have to pricked anymore to receive her antibiotics.  I was filled with gratitude for the patient nurse who searched for a strong vein for hours and my heart lifted when I saw Maralee's sweet face.  She looked tired and I could only imagine the stress her body endured that day.  After telling her how much we loved her, we finally left the hospital late that evening to crash on a borrowed bed.

Tuesday morning we received a phone call saying that the line was still good and she would be heading back to Montgomery!  We were so thankful that the trip ended up being shorter than we thought and that soon she would be reunited with Adeline.  When we entered the doors of Baptist East, we felt like we were coming home.  It was a joy to see the girls together again and to see the friendly faces of all of the nurses that we have come to love.

Thank you friends for your continued prayers.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, raleigh and christen

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