Wednesday, June 30, 2010

1 Graduation Day

It is raining tonight in Montgomery and I am in the exact mood as it looks outside...dreary, cold, and stormy.  We had a busy day today - I went to the hospital three different times.  The first visit was the 11:00 feed and we tried nursing.  This past Saturday was our first time trying this with the girls and they are slowly getting the hang of it.  I have to admit it is much harder than it looks.  Of course, I read all about how the baby will just latch on and how it is a natural process but that just isn't the case with us.  With the girls being premature, they have to be taught everything...breathing, eating, and yes, latching on.  The lactation consultant says that they are doing well for their size and it will come with time.  On Monday, I prayed to have patience with this new endeavor and it has helped me to relax while they try to learn this process.

My second visit was the 2:00 feed and Raleigh's cousins and aunts got to come to this feed.  His cousins are like his younger brothers and it was so funny seeing them around the girls.  They both were a little timid yet fascinated at the same time.  Their moms said that was probably the first time they had seen a diaper being changed...thank goodness it wasn't a dirty one or else they would have been scarred for a while!  Our nurse had Mrs. Price and I try to bottle feed the girls.  They were a little slow and sleepy but we ended up getting most of the milk down.  Right now, both girls are taking 30 cc's of milk which is about half of a bottle.  On Monday, Adeline officially drank all of her milk in one sitting...it was so exciting to watch her little cheeks move in and out gulping down  the good stuff.  Maralee accomplished this feat a week ago so now we are trying for both of them to take all of their bottle each time. Both girls are taking the bottle twice a day and trying to nurse once a day.  It is our goal to get them to take all of their feeds through a bottle/nursing before they go home.  Once home, we will more than likely try to nurse during the day and give bottles at night...we shall see closer to time.

The last visit of the day was the 5:00 with Raleigh.  We usually go to the 8:00 p.m. feed together so we can both bottle feed them but today he wanted to go early so he could rest his eyes.  He has been studying all day for his final test tomorrow.  Please pray for him to remember what he has learned and to work quickly and efficiently on the drawing part of the test.  If he passes this test, he will officially be a licensed architect!!!!!  We look forward to that becoming a reality!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today the girls are officially two months old.  They are 60 days old.  I am so proud of them.  Watching them take the bottle and try to nurse makes me want to cry because I know that they are trying so hard.  It is such hard work for them to learn how to suck, swallow, and breathe.  The competitor inside of me just wants to push them to finish a bottle even though I watch them struggle.  It is such an anxious feeling knowing that the due date is quickly approaching but also realizing that we have a lot to accomplish before we go home.  Each day I feel like something new is being reviewed on their little bodies.  This past week they each got a sign on their isolate labeled fragile bones.  Maralee's bone levels jumped drastically down so she had some intense x-rays done yesterday.  Nothing was fractured (thank goodness!) but we still have to be extra careful with them.  The sign makes me a little paranoid to be honest; we have all handled them with such care and now I feel like I might break them if I grab them the wrong way.  The girls might be small but they are actually easier to handle than a full-term baby.  Anyways, it is just a precautionary but it still weirds me out.  Also, the girls are constantly having their eyes dilated to check if their retinas are protruding.  So far, their eyes have looked fine but tonight the optometrist told us that they had stage one disease. He said this was very common in preemies but when I am told that our children have a type of disease I can't help but be concerned!  To add the cherry on top, today they also have to receive their two month old vaccinations.  In college, I did my internship at the Autism Society and I heard so many stories about how children acted different after they received vaccinations.  I know it is more of a headline with the MMR vaccine but I was still a little hesitant to give my initials today.  Trust me, I believe in vaccinating our children but I was hoping to at least talk to the pediatrician about potentially having the shots spread out a little bit.  Call me paranoid, but it is a concern of mine.  In the end, I gave them permission because I know that the NICU would not give our girls anything that they can't handle for their age and I also realize that it could potentially do the girls (and other children) more harm than good if they didn't receive these shots in a timely manner.

Recently the NICU has been busy with new babies coming in.  Today, I glanced over at a new baby boy and he was so tiny.  He looked like he was breathing on his own but I can tell he is going to be there for a while.  His dad and a family member came in today and I couldn't help but remember what they were feeling as I listened to them asking the nurse questions.  Those first couple of days were such a blur and so much information was being thrown at us.  All we knew is that our girls came early but they were doing okay.  We really had no idea how tough the road truly was ahead of us. One thing that I have struggled with is seeing other babies come and go.  We are officially the seniors that rule the hall of the NICU.  All of our other classmates have graduated to going home but we are still taking our finals.  Recently, we struck up conversation with a new couple that had a little girl in the NICU.  She was born around 33 weeks and her biggest roadblock was learning how to breast feed.  After talking to the parents, I tried to be supportive of them because I could sense how troubled they were but at the same time I wanted to shake them to make them realize that was nothing compared to what we have been through!!!! They got to room-in after two weeks and I will admit that I was very jealous.  I have hope that our day will soon come but some days it just looks so far away.

Friends, a sweet sister shared a powerful word of scripture with me.  It is a tad long but please take time to absorb each and every word.  The more I read it, the better I understand God's love for us and how we are supposed to rely on it.  When we rely on Him, we help others.  Instead of shaking that couple, I earnestly tried to encourage them because I deep down realized that even though their struggle was shorter than mine they were still struggling.  I think that goes for everybody in life.  We all have struggles - some big and some small - and we all need someone to help us.  Jesus is our Savior, our rescuer, and console.  Please take heart to these words from 2 Corinthians: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ are abundant for us, so also our consolation is abundant through Christ.  If we are being afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation; if we are being consoled, it is for your consolation, which you experience when you patiently endure the same suffering that we are also suffering.  Our hope for you in unshaken; for we know that as you share in our sufferings, so you also share in our consolation...He who rescued us from so deadly a peril will continue to rescue us; on him we have set our hope that he will rescue us again, as you also join in helping us by your prayers, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, 10-11

Our praise band at church sings this great song called "Let It Rain" by Michael W. Smith.  I found this awesome You Tube video of the song to images from the movie Passion of Christ.  The text is written in another language but I don't need the text to describe the emotions.  Please spend some time listening to this song and worshiping our amazing Savior, Jesus Christ.



Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Greetings fellow sojourners!  I hope everyone is having a nice day so far.  I have mentioned before on the blog that I am in a year long study at my church called Esther's Women.  The study is comprised of a group of  ten women and we meet once a month to discuss a book that we were assigned to read.  The purpose of Esther's Women is for us to commit to one year to the development of our leadership potential and Christian character formation.  I can already tell that this group is helping me to refine my leadership skills and is enabling me to have a deeper relationship with Christ.  I have enjoyed all of the books we have read, but this month I particularly enjoyed our book, "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George.  I had first read this book when Raleigh and I were engaged but I really enjoyed reading it again from the perspective of a wife and mother.  It offers practical tips on building your ministry, taking care of your home, and supporting your family as a Christian woman.

I know some of you might say, "Well, I am not a minister, so I don't really need this book for a ministry."  My answer to you is, "Yes you do!"  We all have a ministry whether we realize it or not.  How we act in our daily lives directly reflects our relationship with the Lord.  People are watching you and me constantly to see how we react to conflict, trials, and even joyful occasions.  Do we rely on God's strength and give him the glory?  Or, do we complain when times get tough and brag on ourselves when something is great?  Elizabeth writes, "We want what other people see of our lives - the public portion - to stir up this kind of awe and wonder.  We want our strength in public to be explained by what goes on in private between us and God."  So, how do we draw near to God's heart?  Here are three steps:

1. Develop a habit of drawing near to God. Only through routine, regular exposure to God's Word can you and I draw out the nutrition needed to grow hearts of faith.  We have to be firm with ourselves and aim for habitual, scheduled time with God whether we feel like it or not, whether it seems like the best use of my time or not.
2. Design a personal time for drawing near to God. As women we're used to designing, planning, and scheduling the events of life.  We know how to pull off parties, projects at work, weddings, and retreats.  When it comes to planning, your quiet time should be no different - especially considering its eternal value.  Plan out when, where, and whatever aids you need to have an intimate moment with God.
3. Dream of being a woman after God's heart. Motivation is key when it comes to nurturing a heart of devotion, and dreaming helps motivate us.  As a wake-up call to the seriousness of daily life and to find fresh urgency about your walk with the Lord, describe the woman you want to be spiritually in one year.

The next area in the book that captured me was about having a heart that creates order from chaos.  If any of you are like me, cleaning my home is seen as a chore rather than an enjoyment.  1 Timothy 5:14 states, "I will therefore that the younger women...guide the house."  How do we find time to manage our home with work, kids, husbands, and other activities?  Elizabeth tells us to:

1. First, understand that home management is God's best for us.  Home management is His plan, His way.  It's His good and acceptable and perfect will for us (Romans 12:2).
2. Second, decide to take home management seriously.  If we manage our homes effectively, we will have time to be involved in church ministry.
3. Third, live as though you will be accountable for the condition of your home and the use of your time...because you will!  How would the Lord - and your family - rate your service, your meals, and your management?

Finally, one of the most helpful parts of the book was about caring for my family and myself.  Elizabeth writes, "Your husband is your life mate.  Whatever he is like, he is God's good and perfect gift to you, part of God's plan for your personal fulfillment and, more important, for your spiritual development.  Your Christian character becomes evident each and every time you choose from your heart to bend, to yield, to honor, to submit, to follow your husband.  It's one way that you, as a woman after God's own heart, honor God."  In regards to being a mother, she writes that we are the Number One influence in our children's lives and we should treat them as people that we want to be with, play with, and people that should be our highest human priority after our husbands.  In order for us to practice our priorities, she tells us how to assign numbers to our priorities.

1. God
2. Your husband
3. Your children
4. Your home
5. Your spiritual growth
6. Your ministry activities
7. Other activities

During your quiet time, ask God to show you how you can manage these priorities and what he wants you to do today for each of these priorities.  If you follow these steps of planning, praying, and scheduling, you soon discover how comforting it is to get up from your time of prayer with a clear plan for your day.

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the word of God."

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

***All notes are from "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George
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Thursday, June 24, 2010

4 Birthdays and Babies

Wow, I feel like it has been so long since I have done a post.  My parents came into town Tuesday afternoon so I haven't had much down time until today.  It was great spending time with them - I got to see Dad hold the girls and I had a lot of fun hanging out with my mom all day yesterday.  We hit the jackpot at a local childrens' store and got some really cute dresses 50% off.  I had to control myself not to buy everything I saw!

It is so much fun shopping for little girls.  Until recently, I have been scared to buy them anything myself but I have really come a long way since they were born.  Seeing them make such great improvements the past two weeks has really helped my fear of them not coming home.  Right now, I am at a weird intersection of this journey - they aren't at the high-risk stage but they aren't ready to come home either.  It is like I can see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but it is so dimly lit that it still remains unclear.  Currently, our big roadblock is the bottle.  Maralee has really taken her bottle well but she hasn't put on any weight since she is burning calories sucking.  Adeline, on the other hand, now weighs 3.8 pounds but she would rather socialize than drink her milk.  The girls take one bottle a day and the rest of the feeds are still through the tube.  It is our goal to eventually get them to take all of their feeds from the bottle.  They are just still uncoordinated because of their prematurity. On Saturday, they will be 36 weeks and I can't help but hope that they will come home around their 40 week due date, July 24th.  So, we are looking at maybe another month?  Wow....

This Sunday is Raleigh's 25th birthday.  My hubby will be a quarter of a century!  This has been a big year for him from taking his tests to becoming a dad.  I am so proud of him and how hard he works for us to enjoy being a family.  When Raleigh was younger, his grandmother would always make his birthday cakes for him so this year I am going to try to re-create her yummy cakes. She gave me some tips and when I finish this post I am going to start working on the icing.  Cake decorating seems a little tricky but I think it will be fun.  This cake is going to have traditional butter cream icing/decorations but I want to try the fondant sometime soon.  It is my hope to get good enough where I can make the girls' cakes for their birthdays.  I'll be sure to post pictures if you promise to remember that it is my first time so you can't make fun of me if it looks terrible :)

Since this is Raleigh's birthday weekend, I thought it would be fun to do a poll of who y'all think the girls favor in looks.  Below are pictures of Raleigh, me, and the twins so be sure to post your decision on the poll on the right side panel.  The poll closes July 15th so be sure to go ahead and give us your vote!

Maralee and Adeline - seven weeks old
    

Baby Christen

Baby Raleigh

 Adeline

 Maralee
Till next time, let your light shine!
Blessings, christen
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Monday, June 21, 2010

4 Superdad!

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!  I know several of you said that you picked up Fathered by God, either for yourself or a loved one, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.  Friday night we had free tickets to see Toy Story 3 and we absolutely loved it - I am a sucker for any Pixar film, but Toy Story 3 really was amazing.  For those of you that don't know, I LOVE movies.  It really is one of my favorite things to do and it is something that I look forward to sharing with the girls one day.  While we ate dinner Friday night, I kept thinking to myself that in a few years I would be able to take the girls to movies like Toy Story and how great it would be.  Now that we have children I am naturally more aware of them in public and it was quite funny to see how many little kids would cry during a funny moment in the film just because one of the characters was green and it scared them...simply because it was green.  Quote from the little girl behind us, "Daddy, make the green man go away, I wanna go home!"  It's funny how you never imagine those moments when you're daydreaming though, I suppose I have a lot to learn, haha.

Saturday we woke up bright and early and went to see the girls first thing. Out of eight feedings a day, they now get to attempt the bottle once a day.  They don't really have it quite down yet, but it was encouraging to see them try.  Getting to hold the bottle was a great experience - I actually felt like I was able to provide for them.

Feeding time with Adeline.

Also, we recently got to hold both of the girls for the first time.  Up until now, we could hold either and switch, but we haven't been able to hold both - one in each arm.  If you can't tell by my face, it's just as difficult as you would imagine to hold twins.  Adeline would start to roll over so I would lean the other way to hold up Adeline and next thing you know Maralee is sliding off my arm too!  Practice makes perfect, and I look forward to lots more "practice."



After visiting the girls, Christen surprised me with a kayaking adventure.  Going down the Coosa River is something we had often talked about, but never made time to do.  So we packed a lunch and set off down the river.  It was a beautiful day and the water felt great.  It is always such a renewal to get out and experience God's glory first hand.  Sunday, my family came up after Church and we were able to celebrate my first Father's Day together.  It doesn't matter how old you are, it's always great to see your family.

John, Sondra, Gunter, Kari Beth, Christen, and Raleigh Price

Along with the great pictures of the girls to cover my office with, Christen managed to get me a very special Father's Day gift.  If you have ever been around me for more than an hour, you know about my obsession with superheroes - so, without further adieu, I give you...


Superdad!  A father has no shame.

Again, I hope you all had a great Father's Day weekend.  It's not too late to tell your Dad that you love them, and if you are a Father, let those little ones know how much they mean to you.  Kayaking and T-Shirts are nothing compared to these.


Happy Father's Day!

-Raleigh
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Friday, June 18, 2010

1 We are Family!

Happy Friday everyone!

Today I went to the hospital for the eight o'clock feed because Miss Adeline had drunk all of the milk I had given them in storage.  She is up to 26 cc's which is about half of a bottle.  This morning, I got to help her try to drink the milk through her bottle instead of her feeding tube.  In the NICU, they like for the girls to "suck, swallow, and breathe" while they feed and she is starting to show progress.  She looked at me like, "What is this thing in my mouth and why is this so hard?"  but she did manage to get a couple of cc's to go down.  Maralee is still on Pedialyte but now she is getting it at least every three hours so she isn't so hungry.  It warms my heart to see the girls making progress.  Tomorrow, they would have been 35 weeks in my belly so it gives me hope that we will really start to see some improvements in their weight gain these next couple of weeks.  Thank you for your continued prayers for our little girls; it has been awesome for us to see the results!

Below are some pictures of our families holding the girls.  We have been so blessed to have such caring siblings and parents.  They have been so supportive and we are forever grateful for how much they love these new additions!  We love all of you so much!!!!!!!!

“The way children behave is a reflection of their respect for their parents”

Ganny holding Adeline for the first time...she was beyond excited!

Mom and Maralee
Maralee thought Ganny was really funny because she smiled the whole time

Jimbo was the first one to hold both of the girls at the same time
He looks like a proud grandpa to me :)

Uncle Courts is new to this whole baby holding thing but he did a GREAT job!
Adi and Mar are going to have fun with you :)

Gabby holding sweet Adeline

Granddad Price getting to hold his granddaughter Adeline
 
Miss Maralee in her new clothes
The Price's are a "boy" family so Papa John is going to have to get used to all this pink!
(I don't think he minds!!!!)

Aunt KB and Uncle Gunter with Adeline

Watch out Maralee...Uncle Gunter said he is going to discipline you if you misbehave!
(I think he is all talk...one look at those blue eyes and he will be suckered!!!!)
Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen
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Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Hey everybody, its been a while, but I'm back with another book review. This one comes just in time for Father's Day. It's not to late to rush out and pick up something special - if you have no ideas whatsoever, then I am here to help you out with this review.

Description
:

New York Times best-selling author John Eldredge unveils the six stages men must complete to become who God designed them to be.
In this life-changing message from John Eldredge, readers discover a paradigm-shifting path to manhood. He unveils the six stages many men miss, stages they must complete in order to become the man God designed them to be. Inspiring, insightful, and challenging for men and the women in their lives, Fathered by God delivers the very thing men need, a way to forge companionship with God the Father while undergoing a transformation, releasing the fullness of life and the passion God designed them to live.


Review:

I picked up this book a while back when I was looking for Christian books on parenting. I'm not one who really likes to be told how to live his life or raise his children, so that eliminated 99% of the books out there. I stumbled upon this book simply because it had "fathered" in the title. I had read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge when I was in high school and it was one of the first books I read in my life that compelled me to truly be a Christian Man, so I thought I would give this one a go too.

The subtitle of this book is Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You. I am extremely blessed that I have had a Christian father that has directly shaped my life. Not all boys are this lucky. Eldredge hits at the heart of our modern society - the "Self-Made Man" - a false sense of security that we hold onto when no one in our life has gone before us and shown us the way. It comes from a very real sense of fear that we are alone in this world. While true that these men do show a great sense of determination, most are "driven" by the fear of abandonment they have felt in their lives. Eldredge states that the real discovery comes when we find ourselves in such a need that we ultimately realize the answer that has always been in front of us. Only our heavenly father can truly show us the way.

Realization of the truth is only part of the task. All men desire to be tested, and the Lord has created an initiation process that spans our whole life. This Masculine Journey is broken down into six phases - Boyhood, Cowboy, Warrior, Lover, King, and Sage. While these stages are somewhat chronological, it is not uncommon to experience them throughout life or even several of them at once. In Boyhood, we learn what it feels like to be safe in our father's arms - safe in the presence of a real man who can handle anything in the world - or the crushing reality of a rejection that becomes the defining point of an individuals life. As a Cowboy, we ask "Do I have what it takes" because men and boys alike learn by doing. Warriors learn that there are certain things in life worth fighting for. It's a difficult reality for the modern Christian who is to often labeled a pacifist. The Lover is not merely the stage a young man falls in love with a girl but the moment that the Lord moves him. He is awakened to notice the glory of God in all of his creation. The heart of a King is tested when mankind trusts him with power. Eldredge boldly claims that the Bible is the story of God wanting to entrust men with his power, and men not being able to handle it. His power is given to us for influence that benefits others, too often it is to our own. All Kings come to a time when they must step down from their throne. It is at this moment that his influence actually increases. The Sage's wisdom and experience has been forged with humility and compassion. Too often our world dismisses the elderly in favor of the young and beautiful.

Any initiation will test you physically and emotionally - it is the only way we will discover that there is more to ourselves and that God is our strength.



Recommendation: This book is a must read for any boy or man. I would recommend it to anyone who is at least in high school. There truly is something to learn at all stages in our life, but it may be hard to comprehend some of these ideas until one has experienced each of these stages in some way. Eldredge has a very simple way of story telling that draws you in; you will pass through the book in no time. The book is rooted in scripture but it does not throw it in your face. Often he relates these truths to classical adventures such as Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings. I know we have a large female following, yet I hope you experience this book in some way too. If you are struggling to understand the journey a man in your life is on; I would encourage you to read this book.

-Raleigh
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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

3 Inspired

As the NICU has become my home away from home, the nurses have become some of my new best friends.  We talk about food, clothes, movies, and of course, the girls.  In their own way, they offer me advice, comfort, and a warm smile that helps me make it through the day.  They tell me stories of other babies that once occupied those beige walls with mint green nursery borders and how one day I will barely remember this experience because our girls will be healthy and strong. Forgetting this journey seems impossible to me now but I can see how the days can easily blur themselves into one long memory that parents don't want to replay in their minds.  But, for me, I don't want to forget this experience.  As painful as it may be; remembering the bad makes me appreciate the good.  On Sunday, Raleigh and I started looking through some of the first pictures that we took of the girls.  They were so small and had so many tubes inside of them.  Looking back made us realize how great is our God.  Today, our girls have grown and have both reached three pounds!!!  What a miracle!  They each got to wear clothes for the first time last week.  I was shocked to see them with clothes on their backs.  Of course, they are still huge on them but it is a step in the right direction.

Adeline lookin' like summertime in her yellow onesie
 
Maralee is pretty in pink :)
 
God continues to amaze me with his timing.  Last week was a time of healing and restoration of faith for me.  Each day, I continued to accept his peace and for the first time in a long time I felt light.  My burdens had been lifted to a shoulder much stronger than mine.  I was actually able to enjoy my hospital visits and not be anxious while I was away.  Raleigh was in a wedding this past Saturday for a dear childhood friend and the girls were doing so well that I decided to go with him.  I will admit that I was still a teeny tiny bit nervous to be away from the girls but the fact that I was able to leave town for the night shows how much I trusted the Lord.  Through the weekend, we ran into people that have been following our blog and it was so encouraging to us to receive their kind words.  When arriving back in Montgomery, our first stop was to the NICU and we were welcomed by these faces:

Maralee at six weeks
 
Adeline at six weeks
 
Absence sure does make the heart grow fonder!  Every day, the girls continue to grow and amaze me with their personalities.  Adeline has started to be so alert and she is actually enjoying her pacifier.  Maralee loves to be in K-care.  Raleigh and I have started to read books to them at night and it is so cute to see their eyes move at the sound of our voices. 

Even though the girls have made such progress, we still have a long way to go.  Yesterday, Maralee received another ugly infection. Basically, she got a hospital bacteria in her blood stream.  She is receiving antibiotics and the doctor assured me that it is treatable but we hate to see this setback.  This is round 3 but I must say that so far I am taking it much better than I did the first two times.  I am trying very hard to put my trust in God and to let him handle this infection.  Somebody gave me this verse and it fits perfectly: "But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God."  My times are in your hands" (Psalm 31:14-15).

This whole journey thus far has been about me trusting God with my children and Him refining my faith.  Mathew 10:8 states, "Freely you have received, freely give."  God has given us so much of His love and mercy and The Uncontainable Truth is my meek attempt at sharing His grace with all of you.  I want every person reading this blog to know how much God loves you.  He loves YOU.  He desires to have you as part of his kingdom.  Once you have accepted that Christ is your ultimate Savior; He desperately longs to have a deep relationship with you. 

Friends, the coolest thing about blogs and testimonies is that they inspire others.  I started this because someone inspired me.  If our story has inspired you, what are you going to do about it?  God has a great plan for your life and He is so ready for you to let Him show it to you.  The question is, will you let him?

...once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act. - Proverbs 24:12

The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers to his harvest field - Matthew 9:37

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen
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Sunday, June 13, 2010

0 Party Time

"A friend loves at all times" - Proverbs17:17

Last Sunday, my sweet Montgomery friends gave us a baby shower for the girls.  The shower was originally planned for the first Sunday of May but since the girls came that Friday we obviously had to reschedule.  It was so nice of them to reschedule the shower for us and I was so excited to visit with friends that I have not gotten to see since the babies arrived.  We had so much fun and got some great goodies for the girls.  It was funny for me to be opening presents because I already know the girls' personalities.  I would open up a bag filled with pacifiers and think of Maralee because she loves to suck on her paci or I would unwrap a bundle of burp cloths and they would remind me of Adeline since she is our little spit up queen.  Opening the gifts made me realize that these were really for the girls and they would actually need these things.  Thank you all so much for giving us your love and generosity!!!!

 Adeline at 4 weeks

 Maralee at 4 weeks

 Wonderful friends and fabulous hostesses!  
From left to right: Ashley, Sandy, Me, Brittany, Jessica, and Stephanie

My friend Jill and her daughter Taylor
Thank you for the cute clothes from Auburn!!!!
War Eagle :)
My sister-in-law, KB, made these adorable monogrammed tutu outfits for the girls.
Precious!!!!

One of my sorority sisters, Ellen, had these cute diaper wipes monogrammed. 
Very creative!!!!
Two of my JEB buddies, Kristin and Amanda
 
Our families got to come to the shower 
left to right: My mom, Raleigh's mom, Raleigh's Nan Nan, Me, KB
(it was just a good excuse for them to visit with the girls!)

After this shower, we have started to put the final touches on the nursery.  I will be sure to post pictures once it is ready!!!  Have a great Sunday afternoon :)

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen
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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

0 About Us

Hey friends,

I have to make this post a quickie for today.  I'm on my way to get my hair cut and I am extremely excited because it is long overdue.  Anyways, just wanted to update all of you about a new link on the blog.  If you notice in the top right corner, we have different sections titled: Home, About, Contact, Do, Give, Teach, and Pray.  We have updated the About page so please check it out to learn more about us. (I just cracked myself up typing that sentence!)  If you have taken time to read any older posts, you will notice that this blog is about our faith and how we try to share it on an every day basis.  Of course, our faith is being tested primarily by our experience with the girls right now, but we do like to talk about other avenues that we have had to glorify Christ's name.  Also, our future plans for the site are to update the Do, Give, Teach, and Pray links so we will keep you posted when that happens.  Thank you for reading our site, we are truly humbled by how many people are sharing this experience with us.  We hope that you all will continue to join us on this journey!

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen
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Monday, June 7, 2010

4 Kangaroo Care

Good Monday morning!

It is unreal to me that a week ago we were told that Maralee needed to go to Birmingham.  How far we have come since last Monday!  God has been so faithful to our family and has heard all of our prayers.  First, Maralee has done a complete turn-around since Monday.  Now that she has her PICC line, she is able to get her medicine without being constantly pricked.  She started back on her feeds and now she is getting 10 cc's every three hours (a week ago she was getting no food, just the fluids to give her vitamins, fats, etc.).  Both of our girls have been digesting the formula and they weigh 2 pounds 9 ounces.  Last week they were around 2.4 so that is definitely an improvement. 

Another great blessing that the Lord provided us is we got to experience Kangaroo Care with Adeline.  *K- care is when a parent holds their preemie skin-to-skin.  This helps preemies gain weight faster, leave the hospital sooner, cry less, have more stable temperatures, are more alert, sleep better, breathe better, and have more stable heart rates.  It also helps parents not to feel depressed, interact more with baby, feel more important, and bond better.  Research shows that when babies nestle against a parent's chest, especially with their ear over the heartbeat, the contact with the parent's body seems to stabilize the baby's breathing and heart rate.  Feeling mom or dad helps to remind the preemie to breathe.




Holding Adeline so close to me was the best feeling.  I actually got to touch her baby soft skin and feel the rhythm of her heartbeat on my chest.  It was so cool.  I could stay in K-care for hours if the nurses let me.  Raleigh also got to try it and his heart just melted.  Seeing those big eyes looking up at him made my husband hopelessly in love with that little girl.

I believe that God let us experience K-care to help us through last week.  It was a rough week but that was his way of providing some sunshine on an otherwise dreary week.  God has a way of surprising us when we least expect it.  Neither one of us thought we would get to hold them so close to us while we were in the hospital so it was a very gratifying reward. 

On a final note, I have been asking God to help me accept his peace.  Through this experience, I have struggled with the fact that my normal means of releasing tension just won't work right now.  I'm not quite ready to work out, I can't go on vacation to the beach, and it has been hard for us to have a date night without thinking about the girls.  Whenever I'm not at the hospital, I start to miss the girls.  It is an unusual feeling to be a parent but not really have the full responsibilities of a parent right now.  I think that is why I have left this experience on my shoulders because it gives me a feeling of "doing" something for the girls.  In some weird way, it is my way of looking after them.  But, I have got to give that up because it is just too exhausting.  I'm not myself and I can't carry this weight on my own, so I need to stop trying.  Frankly, I'm tired and we still have a long journey ahead of us.  So, I am trying very hard to give my worries to the Lord.  They are his children and we just have them on loan.  I thank him everyday for giving us these beautiful baby girls but I have to remind myself that they are His gift to us, not something I bought on my own.  Yesterday, while taking communion, I felt His presence whispering to me, "Here is my peace.  Take it child."  I hung my head and accepted a small portion of what I needed most.  I have been having such an internal battle of accepting his peace but I have begun to realize that receiving this is the only way I can release my built-up tension. If I want to unwind this tightly-wound ball inside of my chest I have to allow His peace to come inside of me.  It is on me to ask for this peace because he continually offers it to me.  Matthew 7:7-8 tells us, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, christen

*The Premature Baby Book
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Thursday, June 3, 2010

3 The Feelings

Lord, I am emotionally exhausted.  I am tired, sad, grateful, and scared all at the same time.  I feel like I have been going through the clothes dryer with my feelings just tumbling around in circles.  God, I have faith in you and I do trust you with our girls.  But, I still have fear and sadly I have doubt.  It scares me to think that one of them or both might not make it.  I feel like we have come so far in a month and then boom! something like Monday happens.  That whole day was so hard for me.  I could barely speak because if I did I knew the tears would soon follow.  Deep down I understood that taking her to Birmingham was only going to help her but I had a fear that she wouldn't return.  It was so sad to see her in her little incubator with her head shaved.  She just looked so sick.  Maralee kept putting her hand to her face for comfort.  To watch her comfort herself killed me.  That is my job as mommy - she shouldn't have to comfort herself at such a young age.  I can tell by her face and body movements that she feels pain.  My little girl looks like a pushpin.  She has at least six prick marks in her right arm alone.  God, I can only imagine how you felt seeing your son on the cross with all of the holes in his arms.  My cry as her mother is for her to be strong.  You gave her a spirited personality for reasons such as this.  Oh God, how I love her.  I know you love her so much more but I love her so, so much.  You are the only one that can fix her and make her feel better.  I feel so worthless at times.  I know that my ways of helping her are to pray, visit, and breast pump but I just don't feel like that is enough.  I wish I could do more.

God, life is not easy.  It is hard.  I am so tired right now.  I do realize that this is a mere moment in the grand scheme of things but it is a moment that I am living every single day.  This is a defining moment in my faith towards your almighty being.   I believe in you and I trust you.  Your peace is hovering over my head like a helicopter but I haven't granted you permission to land.  Having a peaceful state of mind just doesn't feel right.  I need to stop carrying the weight of my world on my shoulders.  It would make this journey a whole lot lighter.  How come I know all of these things but I am not doing them?  Is it a lack of faith or trust?  I am not sure.  Jesus, I love you and I need you.  I am weak and you are strong.  Thank you for your unconditional love.

You are the LIGHT in the darkness.  You are the COMFORTER to the weak.  You are the ALPHA and OMEGA.  You are our awesome CREATOR.  You are the ultimate PHYSICIAN.  You are STRONG and your LOVE is unfailing.  You are the KING of kings and the LORD of lords.  Thank you for your GRACE and MERCY.

Oh, God, how I need you. With you, I have no doubt that everything is going to be alright.  It might not be the way that I want but in the end we won't have any more pain or suffering.  Please give me your strength to make it through this journey. Thank you for your love.

In Jesus' name,

Amen
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3 The Facts

Friends, I apologize for such a late response to the post on Monday.  The past couple of days have been filled with tons of feelings and it has been hard for us to put into words exactly what we went through.  I sat down yesterday for three hours trying to come up with a post that would explain what happened and also to explain how I felt.  Writing the day down on the blog made it seem like it was nothing when it actually was something that is still on my heart today.  I appreciate the support that we have been given by all of you - trust me it has helped far more than you will ever know.  But, sometimes I feel like nobody truly understands what I am feeling unless they have been in my place.  I know we must all feel that way at times....like we are going through our trials all alone.

As most people were enjoying their day off from work, we received a grim phone call from our doctor saying that Maralee's veins were no longer taking her I.V.'s and she would need to go to Children's to have a surgical procedure done.  Maralee has been on two different antibiotics, one for her staff infection and the other for her yeast infection. For her to be given these medicines, she has had to have two different I.V.'s because they can not be mixed into the same vein.  Since her birth, she has been stuck in all possible locations - heels, legs, arms, even her head.    The nurses had been warning us that it was possible for the meds to break down her premature veins.   On  Monday, they made several last chance attempts to stick her - they even went as far as to shave her little head in spots to get a prick - but nothing would stay.  Her veins were so weak that the I.V.'s were literally falling out.  So, the doctor told us that Children's would need to come and get her so they could do a surgical procedure for her to have a method to permanently receive her medicine.  Basically, they would need to cut an incision into her neck or leg so the medicine could flow directly into the stronger veins  that are found deeper within the body (very similar to a "port" for cancer patients to receive chemotherapy). Of course she was going to need two incisions because of the medicine - the emotional side of me could only think of the fact that one of my daughters was likely now going to have two large scars on her beautiful little neck.



Soon, we were heading north to meet our girl at the hospital located in downtown Birmingham. We weren't sure how long she would be staying at Children's so I packed enough clothes for a week and Raleigh decided he would stay the night and then decide if he needed to head back to Montgomery.  It crushed me at the thought that I wouldn't get to see Adeline for a couple of days but I couldn't bear for Maralee to be all alone either.  So, Raleigh's mom came to stay in Montgomery with Adeline and we went to Birmingham, along with my parents for support. Driving on I-65, I thought it was slightly ironic that she was being treated at Children's because that hospital was one of my accounts when I worked at the American Cancer Society.  After all of those visits, never did I dream that I would be visiting for my own child.  Walking through the cheerfully decorated corridor, we located the NICU and met our new nursing team.  They informed us that they would first attempt to insert a PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter) line into her and if that didn't work, which was likely, they would have to do the surgical procedure.  So we sat.  And we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Late afternoon, we were finally allowed into the NICU to see our daughter.  It was interesting walking into a new NICU - they were the same yet very different.  It just didn't feel like home but we knew it was a great home if that makes any sense.  When we located Maralee's new incubator, we were told that we could visit with her for a little while, and then the nurse would try to insert the PICC line.  It was a relief to finally see her - I knew she was safe but it was still nice to look down and see her beautiful face.  After our short but sweet visit, we left to get some dinner so the nurse could have time to do her thing.  My parents treated us to P.F. Chang's but I wasn't in the festive mood.  It was hard to even make conversation because all I could think about was Maralee.  When our food came, the savory smell filled my nose and I realized how famished I was from that stressful day.  After eating, I felt better and we returned to the hospital.


After more hours of waiting, we were finally allowed to enter the NICU.  By the grace of God, the PICC line was a success.  Thanks to a machine that allowed the nurse to see the larger veins beneath the skin, she was able to locate a strong vein in the pit of Maralee's arm.  This process is extremely less invasive to her body and decreases the chances of additional infections.  Also, they installed a dual-PICC line which required only one insertion point.  The new PICC will be permanent until Maralee comes home, she will not have to pricked anymore to receive her antibiotics.  I was filled with gratitude for the patient nurse who searched for a strong vein for hours and my heart lifted when I saw Maralee's sweet face.  She looked tired and I could only imagine the stress her body endured that day.  After telling her how much we loved her, we finally left the hospital late that evening to crash on a borrowed bed.

Tuesday morning we received a phone call saying that the line was still good and she would be heading back to Montgomery!  We were so thankful that the trip ended up being shorter than we thought and that soon she would be reunited with Adeline.  When we entered the doors of Baptist East, we felt like we were coming home.  It was a joy to see the girls together again and to see the friendly faces of all of the nurses that we have come to love.

Thank you friends for your continued prayers.

Till next time, let your light shine!

Blessings, raleigh and christen
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