Beep. Beep.
BEEEEEP!!!!!
Last night, those were the continuing sounds that I heard from the machines keeping our girls alive as we visited with them in the
NICU. As we walked into the nursery, we noticed that Adeline had been moved into the same room as
Maralee because she too had developed a staff infection. We hate it that her little body has to fight yet another infection but I am beginning to realize that if one of our girls gets sick than the other is likely to follow. We began to put on the lovely yellow robe and blue plastic gloves when all of a sudden her machine starts blinking red like our emergency car flashers. Raleigh and I take a seat outside of her room as the nurses scramble around to fix her breathing tube. Turns out that the ventilator was stuck in her throat so they ended up taking it out and putting her on the
CPAP breathing tube through her nose. The rest of the night she seemed to enjoy having the
CPAP because she kept moving her tongue around. It was like she was saying, "Yes! Freedom!" It was so neat because for a minute I actually got to hear her breathe before they put the top back on the incubator.
Sister did not like Adeline getting all of the attention so
Maralee began to pull one of Adeline's old tricks and stop breathing. Earlier that day she had been switched to a
CPAP as well but it didn't fit quite right in her nose. Because it was a little snug, the air wasn't streaming in like it was supposed to. The nurses ended up switching her to a larger
CPAP but her heart rate would drop occasionally. When the babies do this, the nurses start to press on their feet and hands to get them to "wake up" from sleeping so soundly. It happens a lot but I never get used to all of the sounds. It scares me to see the numbers get so low but the Lord always relieves my fears and pushes those numbers back to normal mode. Needless to say, they kept their sweet nurse busy last night and my nerves were shot by the time I left!
With each beeping sound, God is teaching me to put my trust in Him. He is the ultimate physician and can breathe new life into anybody; anytime anywhere. This morning, as I was sitting on my back porch I relished in the beauty of God's creations. I thanked him for the birds, trees, and even the little squirrel that was scampering around our fence. If God pays so much attention to these things, I know He is taking even greater care for my little girls. He has allowed for Adeline's fluid to decrease around her lungs and heart and I know that he is continuing to heal both girls' staff infections. I have hope that they will do well on their new breathing apparatus so they can eventually have enough strength to breathe on their own.
Yesterday, one of my friends told me a sweet story that gave me so much joy. She and her husband had shared our prayer concern at a local church and the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to pray for our family. My friend told me that an eleven year old boy raised his hand and asked if he could pray for Adeline and
Maralee. She told me that by the time he was done praying that there was not a dry eye in the building. God is not only using our story to glorify his kingdom but he is using our story to influence others. Children continue to amaze us with their simple faith in Christ. That little boy was not scared to pray for our girls because he believes in the power of prayer. It excites me to wonder what else God has in store for that boy as he gets older and more mature in his faith.
Friends, I have realized that God always has his hand stretched out to reach me in times of suffering and joy. He has openly asked for me to have a relationship with him and to trust him with my life. When I say the word "relationship" that means that it is two-sided. I have decided to partake in that relationship because I realize that I can't do this life on my own. The reason this blog began in the first place was because I felt Jesus really tugging at my heart. I had accepted Him as my savior years ago but I have always struggled with what my purpose in life was. So, I began to pray for Him to use me and for me to be open to His will for my life. For some crazy reason, he put writing on my heart and that was how this all began. The blog is called
"The Uncontainable Truth" because of this scripture,
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:14-16).
After discovering that his truth just can't be contained, I realized that my purpose in life is to be a disciple of Christ. I believe that right now, he is using this blog and this situation to bring others to Him through prayer, worship, and fellowship. 1 Peter 1:3-9 says,
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade - kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
Our faith in Christ is 'of greater worth than gold' and the more we show him our faith the more "genuine" we become as Christians. We start to live in love, hope, and peace and "are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy." When we get to this point in our relationship with him, we have fulfilled our purpose in life and have reached our goals.
Even though our family is going through this trial, I still know that I have God's love because I believe in him. I am starting to realize that this trial is bringing triumph to God's kingdom. It is making my faith more genuine and I feel his love for me and my children even though I can't see him. I pray that each of you have this feeling in your hearts. If you don't have it, just ask for it. We all deserve it and He wants all of us to have his love. We just have to have faith and believe, just like that little boy, that God loves us and wants us to live our lives for Him. When we do that, we truly are the light of the world.
Till next time, let your light shine!
Blessings, christen
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